One Prescription Gone. Just Not the One I Expected

Managing Diabetes involves making several decisions each day, like what to eat and what not to eat. It also involves two or three doctor’s visits per year as well as the occasional visit to the pharmacy. One thing I did not count on is the fact that managing diabetes sometimes involves having to deal with rejection letters from health insurance providers, especially when the day job changes insurance companies. That happened to me this year and it resulted in a denial of one of my prescriptions. Since my goal is to get rid of all my prescriptions, I am fine with dropping one. I just wish it wasn’t the prescription for my constant glucose monitor (CGM): the most useful tool I had for making the changes I need to get back to “normal”.

To be honest, I should have seen it coming. When I was first diagnosed, the insurance company that we were paying at that time did not want to cover a CGM, sending me a denial letter in which they basically accused me of not taking my diagnoses seriously. I think they based that on the fact that I did not do things their way: going to a dietitian, signing up for their special monitoring program, etc. As I wrote in “Continuous Glucose Monitors Are Game Changers,” I am a researcher and I chose to find my own answers when it came to diet, exercise and other ways of managing diabetes. It seems as if the insurance company did not like that. Eventually, there would be a change in policy, and the insurance company began paying for the Dexcom G7 but it took two different appeals to get to that point.

As I wrote in the post mentioned earlier, having a CGM is a game changer for diabetics and should be a standard part of the health regimen for those dealing with the disease. I learned quite a bit while using the device and was able to make several big adjustments based on what I was seeing. During the second half of 2024, I was able to keep my readings in a very tight range resulting in an A1c that is trending in the right direction: remaining below 7 and hopefully at my next official reading it will be below 6.5. But what would life be without times of change and last year ended with a change in insurance carriers mentioned earlier.

I appreciate the fact that my day job offers one of the better insurance packages in the area and that they do their best to keep my out-of-pocket expenses from rising. To maintain that level of service at the right price, the company changed insurance providers at the start of this year. When they announced the change, I should have thought about the trouble I had with our previous provider in getting the CGM prescription approved. When it came time to renew the prescription this time around, I received a new denial letter describing the new company’s policy of only approving constant glucose monitors for people who are on insulin. I think this policy is a bit shortsighted as it overlooks the fact that a CGM could help keep me off insulin. My new insurance company would rather pay for treatment instead of paying for prevention.

So, I have lost what is a great tool for managing diabetes but while I am disappointed, I am not defeated. I believe that God is in control, and everything happens in His timing. God opened the door for me to get a prescription for the Dexcom G7 and this year He has closed that door and told me to move on. I have learned what I needed from wearing a CGM and God has said it is time to start getting off of my prescriptions. The first of them is done and gone. Now, in Christ, I work to get off them all.

Random Thoughts February 14, 2025

Mental Toughness

Earlier this week I watched the Fox Television Program, “Extracted.” For those who have never seen it, this is a reality game show where twelve amateur survivalists live on their own in the wilderness while family members watch back at their headquarters. The family can hear but cannot talk to the survivalists. If needed the family can hit an “extract” button to pull the survivalist out but that means the family misses out on $250,000.

I like watching competitions and am looking forward to the rest of the first season of Extracted but there were a couple of things that bothered me during the first two episodes. Just like on Survivor and other shows like this there is always someone, often a black person, who does not know how to swim. Blacks in America really should make sure our children learn how to swim, not just for survival competitions but for survival in life. There is also usually someone who is not mentally prepared for the competition. That was the case with the first person extracted on this show. When I see this I often wonder what that person thought they were getting themselves into.

I also find myself wondering if I am mentally tough enough to do something like that. A much younger version of me, to be honest, was not mentally tough enough. I probably would have quit the first time I faced any kind of hardship. I believe (I hope) I am different today. I don’t know for sure because I’ve never really faced that kind of hardship but I hope that I could. I don’t take any credit for this change as it is all work that God has done to help me overcome being lost in my mom’s alcoholism and all that comes with that. I have been changed and I thank God for healing me and setting me free.

Spiritually there is something I have to remember no matter the trial. God will provide what I need. I believe this would even apply if I was on a survival game show and in real life that helps me deal with the day to day. God is my provider

He Holds the Future

President Trump, with the help of Elon Musk and his Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), is doing exactly what he campaigned on: cutting government excess. I agree with the idea but I’m not comfortable with the process, which will have an indirect effect on my current day job. And as coworkers and people in the same industry (scientific research) share their (justified and very valid) fears, I am at peace. I’ve been here before: those situations where the future is cloudy. Each time God came through, opening the right doors and providing for my needs. This time will be no different. God holds the future!

Is It Constitutional?

I’m not sure if all that the president and his administration are doing is constitutional but I’m not the courts. I agree that we need a smaller government but I think the president may have skipped some steps. For example, the proposed cuts at NIH seem as if they were made without really talking with the stakeholders. Ultimately, I trust that things will work out and I don’t believe we will have the constitutional crises that some fear. Will the limits of executive power be tested? That has already happened and will continue but I believe that the system will work as designed.

Fly Eagles Fly

As I type this, the Philadelphia Eagles’ Parade of Champions is moving through the city of Philadelphia on its way to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. My day job did not fully open today as we knew the city would be crazy, so I worked from home. (Hey, my work email is still open and visible on my desktop.) Back when the Phillies won the World Series I made the mistake of going into work on parade day. My trip home took forever as I wound up leaving right as the parade ended. They expect 1 million fans in the city for the Eagles’ celebration. Looking at the crowd on television, I think that estimate might be a bit low.

Having lived in Philadelphia for quite some time I’ve come to understand Philly fans, having suffered a number of deep disappointments with them. But today is about a celebration and I thank the Eagles for bringing the Vince Lombardi Trophy home.

Congrats to the Eagles and to the city of Philadelphia!

By the way, the best Super Bowl Commercial was the Nike “Love, Hurts,” commercial that aired after the final gun.

Why Do We Need Black History Month?

It wound up being my favorite class in college: a history course that I took just to get a few easy credits. The teacher stepped into the class on the first day and said something that forever changed my perspective on the study of history. He started by saying that he did not expect us to memorize a bunch of dates leading to a collective sigh of relief that was audible throughout the classroom. He then explained that he wanted us to be able to answer one simple question about everything we would learn that semester. How does each event affect our lives today? From that point on I’ve asked this question whenever I studied our history.

As I sit here in my home in Pennsylvania I’m overwhelmed by the number of people and events that have shaped the world and that set the stage for how the culture in which I am immersed functions today. And yet, as I look back on all of my years in grade school I realize there were so many names and events that were missed for one reason or another during all of those history classes. And the biggest omission of them all were the many contributions made by black men and women: contributions that our approved history books almost completely overlooked.

Why do we need Black History Month? I honestly wish that we didn’t need it. I wish that the text books did a better job of telling the story of how blacks and other minorities did important things so that we all can ask how their actions affect us today. But alas, with a few exceptions, those contributions are left out, leaving us with the need for a month designed to remind us not to leave people out.

Random Thoughts for September 15, 2023

A Smart Toilet and Westworld The other day I saw an ad for a smart toilet, and while it’s not the first time I have seen an ad for one of these advanced and expensive commodes, it is the first time that I tried to figure out what they do. I also found myself thinking about the old 1973 movie, “Westworld,” starring the late Yule Brynner. Westworld takes place at a futuristic resort where robots serve guests, doing whatever is needed to help them…relax. As the robots become more aware, they decide to turn on the guests and on those who run the place. Brynner plays a particularly scary cowboy robot who becomes determined to kill one of the guests named Peter Martin (played by Richard Benjamin), chasing him through the entire resort. So, what would happen if smart toilets become self aware and decide to pull off a Westworld type rebellion? The Elimination Race of NASCAR’s Round of Sixteen Tomorrow night I hope to watch this week’s NASCAR race which will determine the twelve drivers who will move into the second round of the playoffs. One driver that I hope does well is Bubba Wallace. (Yes, admit it. I’m rooting according to skin color in this one.) With Wallace being the only black driver racing in NASCAR, I hope he earns his way into the next round. Before the last race of the regular season, Wallace refused to do any interviews as he was stressed at facing his final opportunities to qualify for the playoffs. For this he was called out by at least one of the race commentators from NBC. In fact I think I understand the pressure Wallace was under. Being the only black in the room brings a sort of pressure that is hard to explain. This, on top of the pressure of being a part of a team that is co-owned by Michael Jordan (who is used to winning) and Denny Hamlin (winner of 50 Cup races) which I suspect brings a certain level of expectation. Above all I suspect that Wallace really wanted to make the playoffs, likely for a number of reasons. This isn’t to make excuses for Wallace not doing interviews. I just want to say that I have a very small understanding of the pressure that comes with representing. Only in Philly Live in the Philadelphia area and follow the teams long enough and you realize that there are a number of things that seem like they could only happen in Philly. Only in Philly, at the end of a two week long manhunt, would the escapee be found representing one of the local teams. In this case, the escaped convict was found wearing an Eagles sweatshirt. Oh well, at least he didn’t try to sing the fight song.

Random Thoughts for May 31, 2023

Memorial Day 2023

I’m writing this a couple of days after Memorial Day 2023 and as always, I thank God for those who served and died for the United States of America. I have a lot of family members who served in the various branches of our military and quite a few of them served in or near areas of conflict. Fortunately, they all made it back alive but many of their fellow soldiers did not.

This Memorial Day I want to thank all of the Gold Star Families out there for their sacrifice on behalf of our nation. I wish I could thank each of you face to face and give you a big hug. Above all I want you all to know that you are not forgotten.

If you don’t know about our Gold Star Families, please read What is a Gold Star Family? on the USO website.

Uvalde, Texas: One year later

It has been a year since a teenager walked into Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas and killed 19 children and two teachers. 17 other people were injured that day and as mentioned in numerous news stories this month, many questions remain unanswered. While listening to NPR on May 24th I heard interviews with some of the parents of Uvalde as they shared stories of the children they lost. Each story served as a reminder that we lost 21 people that day and that we also lost their dreams and so much more. I heard the pain that is still there as these parents continue (I hope) to heal and as they ask if there is something that can be done to prevent the next school shooting. I also heard a reminder that there is a problem and I fear that in our current political and spiritual climate, we might not be willing to reach for the right solutions.

I do believe that we have a gun problem. We also have a mental health problem. We have a problem of people turning a blind eye, not wanting to look at the signs within their loved ones that they need help. We have a problem because our family units are quite often broken. We have a problem because we have lost our coping mechanisms. We have a problem because (in my opinion) our anti bullying programs seem to fail the very vulnerable populations that they claim to want to protect. But most of all we have a spiritual problem that leaves people feeling empty and hopeless, and (again in my opinion) the blame for that just might fall at the foot of the church.

I suspect there are many of you who disagree with that last sentence and that’s fine. I just ask one thing of you, especially if you are a Christian. Please pray! Seek God and ask His opinion. Let Him guide your heart in how we as the body of Christ should respond to the problem of gun violence in our nation. After all, the church should definitely be about protecting the lives of people in our country.

Whose Medical Team Is This, Anyway?

Almost two years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Since that time I’ve had my ups and my downs (fortunately mostly ups) as I work at keeping my glucose levels “in range.” I’ve gotten my A1C down below 7 and am at a point where the doctor says I have things under control but with room for improvement. I have goals that I have set for myself as far as exercise and weight loss. Hopefully I will still be able to push my A1C down even further by the end of this year. I believe I am on a good path but there’s just one thing bugging me: an area where I felt I needed to speak up and take control. That area rests squarely between the four walls of my doctor’s examination room.

Don’t get me wrong. I do believe that my doctor and his staff have my best interest at heart. Here’s the problem. My doctor likes to do things “By the book,” which means medications with occasional increases in dosage. That’s not my goal but at first I was afraid to say anything about it. Early on I asked what it would take to get off of the medications but my question was met with an answer that I did not like. Over the 1st year and a half I found myself wondering who is in charge and if we share the same goals. Yes, we share the goal of keeping me healthy but my goal is to do so with as little medication as possible and I’d rather not go down the path of a higher dose of this followed by a higher dose of that.

So here’s my question. How do you see your relationship with your doctor? Is your doctor your medical boss, giving out orders that you have to follow? At times I become a people pleaser and I think this caused me to see the relationship in these terms. God helped me see that my doctor is a medical expert giving me advice based on his experience but his experience is not alway a perfect fit for my situation. For example, he did not think I could lose enough weight to make a difference. I have. The bottom line is he gives his best advice and it’s my choice on what I do with that advice as well as with the advice I get from many other sources. Most of the time I will probably do as the doctor says but I want to have some input and I make the final decision.

I want to be clear about this. I’m not advocating for you or anyone else to ignore the advice of their doctor. I’m not on some power trip and do not plan to ignore my own doctor. What I am advocating is for all of us to become informed patients, learning all that we can including what the doctor’s “book” says. As I learn more about living with diabetes I plan to make my health a collaborative effort, one in which I do lean heavily on my doctor for advice. And I will recognize that 99% of the time it is the best advice but it is advice and not a command.

When it comes to my health I will not be a people pleaser. After all, whose medical team is this anyway? To be more accurate: Whose life is this anyway?

You Know, I Think God Likes Different Colors

 

The family that sold us our house many years ago left behind a number of different trees and plants in our yard. Over the years we cut a number of them down, especially the pine trees that were growing way too close to the house. But we did keep a few plants, including a few Azaleas which were growing in various places around the property. One of these Azaleas always opens first among the group and when it does it puts on quite a show.

We have three different kinds of Azalea in our yard, each with its own color. Add in a couple of purple Rhododendrons and we get a nice pallet of colors greeting us as we move through the spring. But that one Azalea is always the first to open, stretching out its pedals days before the other Azaleas and Rhododendrons show signs of waking up.

When they do open they join with the Tulips we have planted around the property, opening and eventually dropping their flowers just as the Day Lilies we have planted in our backyard begin to strut their stuff. Later in the summer a row of Hibiscus at the side of the yard will open up and put on a show of their own. I have to watch these Hibiscus closely as they are able to grow like they are out of control with their offspring turning up in a number of different places around the property. I like them but not enough to let them take over.

The only downside to having all of the colors of spring and summer is the fact that I suffer from allergies. Still, that does not keep me from enjoying each and every plant. I even enjoy the bugs they attract like the bees and the lady bugs, although I keep my distance from the bees. Throw in the assortment of birds, including the occasional humming bird, and everything just seems to be right with the world. It’s a reminder to take time to relax. It is also a reminder that God must really like a huge range of different colors.

It’s Been Almost Four Years

It’s been almost four years since my last update of my “About Me” page. In fact, it's been about four years since I read my “About Me” page. I realize some things have changed since I wrote those words. (I’ll make updates right after I finish writing this.) For starters, that version of the page still said I had been married 26 years. We have now enjoyed over 30 years of marriage. A lot of work goes into growing a relationship for 30 years and it has been well worth the effort.

As I read and revised my “About Me” page I realized that it is in a way a map which I have not been following. Yes, like many other men I tend not to pay attention to maps. I guess it’s time to upgrade to GPS and my GPS is telling me I am off course when it comes to my blog and to writing in general. Fortunately it’s never too late to get back on course, not even after 4-8 years.

So where do we go from here? Well…according to my map…or should I now say GPS I will continue with posts about my faith in Jesus Christ. I will also tell you more about me. This blog will continue to be a bit eclectic with posts on various topics. There will also be more posts that answer questions from a biblical point of view. This is a bit of a change in course which hopefully will be fun and informative.

One thing I am working on is consistency. I have not been consistent in my writing. I get things done when there is a deadline (such as with magazine articles) but I tend to fumble the ball on things like this blog or when it comes to the many book ideas I have bouncing around in my head. This year I have made a new commitment to answer God’s call without making excuses.

I do still enjoy writing even though I too often talk myself out of sitting at my computer. It’s time for change and for a true commitment. As I write this I feel a growing excitement about the direction God will take my writing and It’s time to roll up my sleeves and get to work. Thanks for joining me as I move forward and for listening to my ramblings tonight.

It’s time to move forward into 2023 and into new adventures. I will even check my road map…from time to time.

When Lightning Strikes Twice

In 1993 my wife and I were still newlyweds and still getting used to living life together. For my wife this meant getting used to being a football widow every Sunday from September to February. So on January third, with my new mother-in-law in town, I figured it was best for my fledgling marriage if I gave in to my wife’s request and took her and her mother shopping. Full disclosure, shopping is one of my least favorite activities but I decided to be nice figuring I would only miss one NFL playoff game.

We made a few different stops, including one in Strawbridges in nearby Willow Grove Park Mall. For those of you not from Pennsylvania, New York or New Jersey Strawbridges was a department store that evolved from a local store called Strawbridge and Clothier, which was eventually bought by Macy’s. At some point the folks at Macy’s did away with the Strawbridges name but my story takes place back when the mall had both Macy’s and Strawbridges as anchor stores and when department stores still had a wall of televisions in their electronics sections.

On that day it seemed like every television in the store was turned to the game and there was a large group of men watching. Somehow they seemed unusually excited about what was at that point an overtime game, so I decided to stick around to watch how the game ended. Little did I know that I was seeing the end of what was then the greatest comeback in NFL history which ended with a Buffalo field goal in OT. As the ball went through the uprights I decided that from that time forward I would regularly remind my wife that I missed this historic game because she wanted to go shopping. Fortunately she has a good sense of humor and we have both learned to laugh whenever I tell this story.

After this past weekend the laughs are all on me and this will probably be the last time that I ever tell the story of missing the Bills’ comeback win. This weekend I was the one who planned an afternoon shopping trip, even though this was one of the Saturdays when there would be NFL games. Both my son and my wife thought it odd that I would choose shopping over football but I needed to finish my Christmas list. Besides, I figured I would only miss one game and that’s where I made my mistake. 

Somehow, once again, I missed the greatest comeback in NFL history as the Vikings came back from being down by 33 points to beat the Colts in overtime. Yes, somehow lightning did strike twice and it’s finally time for me to put an old story to rest. Now my wife can tell everyone how I made her miss the greatest comeback in NFL history and if you see me shopping during a football game you might want to run to the nearest television.

Random Thoughts for November 11th, 2022

With this week’s midterm elections completed I thought it might be a good time to bring back something I used to do on occasion which I called Random Thoughts. This week I find myself chuckling at our two main political parties as they each put their own spin on the results. The party that lost ground is touting how successful they are in not losing as much as they thought they would. Meanwhile the party that gained ground is looking for a scapegoat to blame for not gaining as much ground as they thought they would. My spin on the results as well as on the way many of this year’s campaigns were conducted is that the only thing we’ve proven is that some people need to grow up.

I trust that everyone who won did so according to God’s will. This always brings me back to the question of why God allows certain people to serve in government, including people with whom God clearly does not agree. I touched on this back in 2017, asking “Did We Elect A Moses or A Pharaoh.” Even people we wouldn’t dream of putting in office serve the purposes of God. Our duty as Jesus’ followers is to pray for those who serve us in government, whether we agree with them or not.

As a Christian, it’s easy to talk a good game but what happens when life challenges our faith? I talked about this earlier this year in “When Faith Becomes Difficult.” Well, of late a number of things have worked together in my life to make faith become difficult. Several unexpected trials have threatened to trip me up in my Christian walk. Thank God for sending us “another helper,” as Jesus promised in John 14:15-16. This helper reminded me of what I should do during times of trial which boils down to praying and to trusting in the Lord with all of my heart (Proverbs 3:5). I do not understand all that is going on but that’s ok because God understands and is in full control.

Boy Did I Mess Up: Struggles with Imposter Syndrome

I was way off my game and boy did I mess up. It happened as I was being challenged by an atheist. It came on a day when I was already feeling a little off and was not handling my own negative feelings very well. When the challenge came, I thought I could find a clever way to back away from the challenge. Instead of being clever, I misspoke and came up looking quite silly. By the end of the conversation I could only think of the line from the DC Talk song “What If I Stumble?” I truly missed my step and felt like I made fools of us all. My mistake was a reminder that as a Christian I do not have it all together and as I pointed out in “Are You An Imposter?,” I sometimes suffer from imposter syndrome.

I wish I could say that was the only time recently when I felt like a fake but I’ve even suffered imposter syndrome while at church. This time those feelings were triggered by two kinds of feedback. I was running the sound board at church during a time when we didn’t realize there was a problem with our speakers. I tried to compensate and, well, the end result was microphone feedback during two different services. After each occurrence I received critical feedback from church members, who meant well…I think. In the end I found myself doubting and once again wondering if I am a fake. This was yet another reminder that I do not have it all together.

I’d love to be able to say that when I became a Christian I was ready for everything that I would face. Looking back over my Christian life there have been plenty of times when I did something that resulted in sheer embarrassment and I’ve lost count of the number of times that those embarrassments came while trying to defend the faith. That’s not a reflection of who I am nor (when it involves the faith) is it a sign that what I believe isn’t true. It’s a sign that life often involves striking out. But a strikeout does not mean I’m an imposter. It means that if we take on big challenges, we will, from time to time, fail but that really is okay.

My Least Favorite Commercials

Over the years there have been a number of commercials that...well…bug me. Some bother me because they insult the viewer’s intelligence. Others are bothersome because of an annoying jingle or claims that have nothing to do with why anyone would buy the product. Then there are those commercials that I think are just dumb or unrealistic. The worst commercials are those that seem to be trying to make a statement about society as opposed to selling a product. These types of commercials often portray men in a way that is unrealistic or in a way that is just an outright putdown. My two least favorite commercials airing on tv this year fall into that last category.

The first commercial (actually a series of commercials) is for a certain brand of personal grooming products. These commercials tell us that the products work so well the women in your life will steal them from you. That’s not hard to understand. What bothers me is the fact that the women in the commercial seem…well…tougher than the man. Now, I don’t understand why a woman would want to smell like her husband (if there is a good reason I don’t want to know). I definitely don’t know why a mother would want to smell like her son in law. And as a man, my biggest complaint wouldn’t be that I want to keep the products to myself. I wouldn’t want my wife to smell like a man. I’m guessing if the man in the commercials explained that, he would never have to worry about his wife stealing his personal care products ever again.

I wish that was my biggest gripe about this series of commercials but it’s not. My biggest problem with them comes during one specific commercial where, instead of just stating his case, the man involved in these commercials sits there and cries about his wife using his products. I’m all for men being in touch with their feelings but crying because your wife used your shampoo or skin cleanser or whatever other product? That to me is where I cry foul. Truth is, apart from not wanting my wife smelling like me, I wouldn’t care and I suspect most men wouldn’t. (I wonder if most men would notice but that’s a different issue.) There really is no need to cry about it. Seems as if this product turns a man into a wimp or at least that’s what this commercial seems to imply. (Sorry if I’m being insensitive or if I’m not being politically correct.)

My second least favorite commercial is for a fast food company. During the commercial the dad realizes that he forgot to buy dinner. Just in the nick of time, his wife comes in with food as she seemed to assume he would forget to get it. Here’s my question. How many men would forget dinner? Granted, a dad might put together some really odd combination for dinner but forgetting it all together? I doubt it. This fits into the category of unrealistic characterization.

Now before you tell me to get a sense of humor, let me point out that this is written somewhat tongue in cheek. To be honest, I ignore most commercials. In fact, I often channel surf during the breaks. But every now and then I do watch a commercial and often come away thinking that the creators didn’t think that one through. There are some clever commercials out there but a small few just kind of rub me the wrong way. So be honest. Which commercials are your least favorite?

Will The Church Be A Source of Hope?

Back in 2020 I wrote a post asking “Is The Church Still A Source of Hope?” Today I find myself once again thinking about this question, wondering if the church will be a source of hope if Roe v. Wade is overturned. For the record, this is not a post about the Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice debate nor will I comment on the leaked Supreme Court Document and its implications. My intention with this post is to get you to think about how you will respond to women in need if abortion is no longer an option in your state. Will you (and your church) be a source of hope?

Since news broke of the leaked document I’ve heard a lot about what women will lose if the court votes as indicated. The picture painted by the Pro-Choice side is that the court is planning to take away a source of hope for women and perhaps in the future more minority groups will lose the hope given them by various court rulings. There seems to be a lot of fear of what might happen and of what the path we seem to be on will mean for our future.

As I pointed out in 2020, God’s church is called to be the salt of the earth. Jesus expects us to touch the community around us, making situations more palatable by showing others the hope that is only available from God. I believe that means rising above political debate in order to help those who are in need. In this case that means helping women see that nine months of pregnancy does not mean the end of life. We must be willing now to roll up our sleeves in order to offer hope and to show that in Christ the future is bright.

Some would say that if the court votes as indicated in the leaked document, the church has won a victory. Will the church respond by being poor winners or will we continue (or perhaps once again become) the source of hope that God intends for us to be?

Sometimes You Just Need Some Time Off

February was a difficult month for me, a month where I felt like I needed more than 24 hours per day. I was very busy and even accomplished a thing or two, but I just couldn’t get to the tasks that I really wanted to do. In fact, my only accomplishments were ones that had deadlines. Everything else fell by the wayside. I did some writing but only where something was due. With no deadlines, my blog suffered neglect. (Thank you and sorry to those who kept checking in during the last few weeks.) Other than news and magazines, I did not do any real reading and it was hard to relax while watching my to-do list get longer. Unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened but this time around I knew exactly what I needed: time off.

For the record, this “time off” was not like my usual vacation time. I didn’t go anywhere or plan any special activities. I basically set aside a week where, for the most part, I hoped to avoid distractions. This of course meant a week away from the day job’s demands and the requirements that come with the position. This was a week where I could think without being bothered or write without being bothered or read or work on the house or…sit and do nothing…all without distractions. Fortunately, unlike the last couple of years, I have the house to myself (except for the cat) because there are no lockdowns or virtual school or any other reason for someone else to be home. It’s just me, the cat, a smart speaker, my thoughts and God.

Sometimes you just need some time off. I used my time for prayer and for time spent without distraction in order to allow God to bring me back into alignment with His will. I spent the time reminding myself of what is really important to me. My time off was like hitting a big reset button, clearing my mind so that I could think about the path I choose to take. I needed a week to catch my breath and to remind myself to keep breathing. And now I feel ready to live instead of just doing.

Sometimes you just need some time off. Just writing that makes me feel a whole lot better.

Honor MLK By Voting

MLK Day! I remember the battle leading up to 1983 when Congress passed the legislation that made the third Monday of January a federal holiday recognizing the life and contributions of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. You may be surprised to find out that back then I was not 100% on board with the move to make this a holiday. I was young and impressionable, buying into something someone said about Dr. King not wanting a holiday because it would mean a day when young children of color were missing out on their education. I’ve changed my mind since then, recognizing that it’s not about if he would want a holiday. It’s about him deserving a holiday and deserving the recognition and honor he earned as one of the leaders of the civil rights movement.

Since January 20, 1986, the very first MLK national holiday, the third Monday in January has become known in many parts of the country as a day of service. It is a day when communities can come together and when the individual can serve his/her neighbor: a day when we hopefully make our towns a little bit better. I think this is something that would make Dr. King smile. However, after the day of service I believe there is something else each of us needs to do: become an informed voter and then cast your ballot.

When watching the news I keep hearing about laws that have passed and attempts to pass other laws which in one way shape or form are designed to control how we each cast our ballots in future elections. I’m not here to take sides or to judge these various laws. I am here to say get out and vote no matter what. Make up your mind right now that no restriction will keep you from voting. No matter your race or your political leanings, become informed about the candidates and the issues. Then, go out and exercise your Constitutional right. When you do so you will help make this a better nation and you will honor MLK by making sure that his work, when it comes to the right to vote, was not done in vain.

What Do You Love More Than God?

I read the In Touch Devotional, written by Dr. Charles Stanley, just about every morning. It serves to help me focus on God and is a great way to start my day. In his December 23, 2021 devotional, Dr. Stanley (founder of In Touch Ministries) spoke of having an intimate relationship with God. And while it was not the main focus of the devotional, the lesson got me thinking about the things that I allow to come between me and God. I realized that I need to start asking myself a question whenever I am tempted. It is a simple question that brings with it a boat load of conviction. What do I love more than God?

You see, one of the things I am saying when I give into temptation is that I love the thing I am being tempted to do more than I love God. More accurately, I am saying that I love the way I feel when I do that thing or that I love my own wisdom more than I love God. My own actions speak louder than words (especially those words I claim to believe) and my sin speaks volumes. They say that there are areas of my life where I have not fully surrendered to God: Areas where God is not number 1.

Fortunately my salvation is not earned. It is a free gift given to me (and offered to you) by God, paid for on the cross when Jesus died. So, my actions do not earn a ticket to heaven nor can they cost me my future position in Heaven. My actions do, however, affect my current relationship with God, keeping me from fully enjoying my position as His child. I love God and there is nothing more valuable than my relationship with God. I’ll remember to remind myself of that when temptation comes.

What about you? What do you love more than God?

Lines That Should Not Be Crossed

I used to post to a blog with a different name. Back then I spent way too much time focusing on my stats, riding a rollercoaster that climbed and dropped with my daily reader count. With each post I learned a bit more about my core audience, my stats telling me what they would read and what they would recommend to their followers. Armed with this knowledge I would dive into my next posts both on my blogs and on my other social media channels. Over time I found that I could, with the right set of words, draw attention from many people including some who were much more famous than I. But as my stats improved, I noticed something I didn’t like. I noticed that I was bending over backwards, compromising what I truly believed in order to make my audience happy.

One event in particular served as an eye opener that forced me to change course. My audience was abuzz about a teenager who ran away from home out of fear for her life. This young woman received Jesus as her Lord and Savior, a decision that put her at odds with her family. Forced to leave home for her own safety, she found a group of Christians in a different state who received her with open arms. But eventually, the authorities caught up with her and the courts ordered that she be returned to her family. With help from her new found brothers and sisters in Christ she was able to appeal this decision and I learned about her while she was waiting for her appeal to be heard.

Many in my online group spoke out against the court decision, encouraging the family hiding the young woman to defy the court order. I found myself wondering if in fact this was the right way to proceed. Yes, I understood why the young woman felt that her home was no longer safe but at the same time I feared the possibility of setting a precedent where children could be hidden from their families simply because of a difference in opinion over religious belief. I was torn between my belief that we all should do our best to follow the law and those online voices telling me that the law was wrong.

And so I started asking questions, hoping my audience would enlighten me. Instead I was treated as if I had lost my mind. My audience wondered how I could even begin to question other Christians who were simply trying to protect the life of a child. I pointed out that God could protect her whether or not she went home. To this I was challenged to read the pages of another religion’s book in order to understand the real danger this young woman was in. Back then, and still today, I wondered why I needed to read a book from another religion when my Bible told me all I needed to know.

There, on the pages of the Bible, I find God. The Bible tells me that God is more than up to the task of protecting His children. With no compromise, my Bible told me not to give into fear but instead to trust in God. This seemed to contradict my audience who seemed to fear the power of another religion and its followers. I knew at that point that I had to make a choice. Either I stood in confidence in what God could do, even if I lost my audience, or I could stand in fear with my audience knowing that my stats would continue to grow even if my relationship with the Almighty did not.

For the record, the young woman had a birthday while waiting for her appeal to be heard. At that point she was able to legally choose for herself where she wanted to live, disappearing from the headlines as she went on with her life. Wherever she is, I pray she continues with the Lord, standing as a witness of how He can and does protect His children. As for my old blog, well it became harder and harder to write knowing what I would have to do to hold onto my audience. Eventually I took a break from blogging. Then I decided to let that old blog disappear, starting fresh here with these posts.

I thought about that old blog following the events of January 6, 2021. I thought about the mob and the riot, wondering how many were pulled along in the river of emotion that welled up at that moment. I suspect the large majority are normally law abiding citizens but on that day they got caught up in all of the excitement. In the heat of the moment they committed crimes against the very nation they claim to love. They crossed a line that just should not be crossed as they tried to win favor with those around them and with the world leader they came to support.

I recognized when it was time to draw a line: time to walk away from my old blog and the audience that followed. It was time to stop bending over backwards at the expense of what I truly believed and so I moved on. I hope that those who took part in the riots on January 6 recognize that they crossed a line they shouldn’t while bending over backwards for their audience of one. I also hope that our former president learned that there are lines that should not be crossed, especially when doing so means attacking that which you are called to defend.

Applying A Lesson From Football to the Capital Incident

It was third down and we needed our defense to make a stop. Both teams lined up, ready for the play of the game. But just before the snap, one of their linemen moved. Then their quarterback handed the ball off to their tailback who took the ball sixty yards for a touchdown. And while they celebrated in the end zone, we looked around expecting a yellow flag. It never came. After the game one of the referees came over to admit his mistake. He saw the false start but he didn’t call it. We all wished he had kept that to himself. Still, as coaches of a youth football team, we had to set the right example.

We were cheated because a ref decided to keep his flag in his pocket. It would have been easy to lose my temper. It would have been easy for any of us to launch into a tirade or to do something stupid, using the fact that we were cheated as a reason to do wrong. Instead we decided to act like adults. We thanked the refs for doing a (mostly) good job and then we pulled our team together to talk about what we could do better. As a team we took responsibility for our loss. As coaches we acted like adults. I wish that was what happened on January 6th down at our nation’s capital.

I understand that our president and his supporters feel cheated. I don’t agree with them but I do understand that this is what they are feeling. But we needed the crowd to handle these feelings correctly. The nation needed adults who understand that in life you will not always like the outcome. In fact, you may even get cheated out of something. However, that is not an excuse to incite an unruly mob. It is not an excuse to commit crimes. It is not an excuse to attack the government of this country or any other country. It is the time to act like adults.

Looping Coasters and...What's Her Name?

As a codependent one of the first things to go was my ability to trust. Trust leaves you vulnerable and when you trust an alcoholic, as I did, trust wrecks your life. You quickly learn that being vulnerable can leave long lasting emotional injuries from which it seems impossible to heal. My most important relationship was too unpredictable and too full of pain for me to trust anyone else, including myself. So it was easier to just not trust anyone. In fact, as a child the only thing that I feared more than trusting someone was...well...looping roller coasters.

Back then my favorite roller coaster was any coaster that didn't have loops. I could tolerate the highest hills and the steepest drops. High speed turns were a must as I wanted to feel g-forces, the kind that made it hard to sit up straight. I loved (and still love) wooden coasters even if they sometimes felt rickety and metal coasters are fine, although the smooth ride takes away some of the feeling of speed. Up, down and around, roller coasters have always been my favorite part of going to an amusement park and I would ride any coaster as long as it didn't turn me upside down.

I'm not sure why I was afraid of loops and corkscrews, afterall I knew the physics behind why I wouldn't fall out. My dad is an engineer so I knew the physics behind a number of things and he demonstrated the concept behind a loop by using a glass of ice. The ice barely moved as the glass flipped over. It didn't even raise its hands and scream. (Silly ice, screaming is the best part of the ride.) There was no reason to be afraid but I chose to miss out until that fateful day when my 6th grade class took a field trip to Old Chicago Amusement Park.

Old Chicago Amusement Park was a bit of an oddity in its day: a fully enclosed amusement park wrapped in a shopping mall. Opened in 1975, it was billed as the first indoor amusement park (Mall of America opened years later  in 1992). I doubt the park ever made any money. The rumor back then was that it was built to be a massive tax writeoff. By the time of our class trip it was already clear that the park was in trouble. Many of the stores were closed leaving the mall section with a number of boarded up storefronts painted to look like they were stores from an 1890s era main street. Of course as preteens we didn't care about the boarded up stores, even though we had to pass them all to get to where the rides were. We only cared about two things: the rides and which one of the girls we would ride with.

Funny but I can't remember her name now but back then I would have done anything for her. She knew it and all our friends knew it as well. And so she became the one designated to get me to go where I said I would never go, into the queue of the Chicago Loop: a looping roller coaster named after the section of the city where Grant Park and the Willis Tower (Sears Tower) are located. My friends were quick to correct me telling me they were corkscrews not loops. Either way they turned riders upside down and everyone knew that the idea of a loop made me weak in the knees. But she asked and I was stuck riding the coaster. Anything to sit next to what's her name.

I was scared...to,,,death! So, as the ride pulled off I did what any red blooded coward would do. I closed my eyes. Did you know that with your eyes closed a ride on a roller coaster is over before you realize you've hit the bottom of the first drop? Yes you still get that feeling in your stomach on the first drop but the rest of the ride feels kind of like a wobbly seesaw. I couldn't believe it when the ride was over. What had I been so afraid of?

Later, what's her name conned me into buying her lunch. After that I didn't see her again...ever again. We wound up going to different schools the next year. Such is the life of a preteen. She was out of my life. In her wake I was left with a love for looping roller coasters.

Now I can't leave an amusement park without riding every coaster no matter what type. Just ask my family about the long queue lines. One time we stood in a queue line that was so long that it had a concession stand about a quarter of the way down its length. The ride was worth the wait (the food wasn't worth it but the coaster was). I love roller coasters, especially when they turn me upside down. I wish I could thank ole’ what's her name for getting me on the Loop. If only I could remember her name!

(I understand that as Old Chicago was closing a number of its rides were sold to other amusement parks. The Chicago Loop is now the Canobie Corkscrew located in Canobie Lake Park in New Hampshire.)

Is The Church Still A Source of Hope?

Is today's church a source of hope during difficult times?

One of my favorite television shows is Food Network's Restaurant Impossible, starring Robert Irvine. In each episode Chef Irvine visits a failing restaurant. Early episodes involved Irvine showing up unexpectedly, having been invited by someone close to the restaurant's owner. More recently Irvine's visits are scheduled but owners sometimes still seem caught off guard by the force of Irvine's personality. (Executive producer Marc Summers once called Chef Irvine a cartoon character come to life and it seems like Irvine is quite the experience.) Irvine doesn't just fix the restaurant, he challenges the mindset that caused the restaurant to fail in the first place. In 48 hours Irvine and his crew breathe life into a desperate situation, leaving behind the hope of future success.

I find myself wondering if I instill the same feeling of hope in those around me. After all, the Bible does say that as a follower of Christ I should have an impact on those around me. The Bible says that I, along with my brothers and sisters in Christ, am the salt of the earth. Salt takes something that is bland and makes it taste better. Salt takes something that's basic and lifts it up, enhancing the flavor and giving hope that the meal will be spectacular. In Christ, we believers are called to lift up those around us, giving hope of a better outcome no matter the situation. Is the church still in the business of offering hope? Am I?