Struggling With God’s Identity

 

That’s a weird title for a blog post, isn’t it? But I find myself thinking that a lot of the things I struggle with as a Christian, really come down to not accepting that God is Whom He says He is. For example, I sometimes worry about money, which seems like something Christians just shouldn’t worry about. After all, the Bible promises that God will provide for all my needs (Philippians 4:19), which means my worries (my lack of faith) is unwarranted. So why, in the face of this promise, do I worry?

Thinking about it, I do not doubt God’s ability to provide, He is after all the Almighty and everything belongs to Him. I can’t begin to fathom what the Bible means by “His riches in glory” but it seems to indicate that He has the resources needed to take care of me and my family. In fact, there have been many times when I have reminded others of Philippians 4:19, so why would I struggle to apply it to my own life? After pondering this contradiction, I’ve concluded that my problem is not with the idea of God providing. Instead, my problem is with God’s identity as my Father.

The Bible promises that those who receive Jesus and believe in His name have been given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). That sounds good but what kind of relationship is the Bible talking about? My earthly father and my mother were not perfect nor were they all powerful. They did their best (and I love them both) but they were limited, not having riches in glory like God. They both had their own laundry list of problems (just like everyone else’s parents) and some of these became the wedge which eventually led to their divorce and to my not seeing my dad very often. In short, my view of the father-son relationship was tainted by problems in my family: problems that go back all the way to Adam.

My dad was less than perfect, and he got stuck with a less than perfect son. Together we forged a less than perfect father-son relationship. So, how do I go from that to the relationship offered in the Bible: A relationship where I am still less than perfect, trying to relate to a perfect Heavenly Father? I find that it’s His identity as Heavenly Father that I struggle with as I wonder what the Creator of the Universe means when He says that He is my Father.

The offer is clear: Believe in the name of Jesus and you receive the right to become a child of God. It’s the relationship itself that is less clear and any attempt on my end to define it falls way short of what God desires. Instead of struggling we need to accept God at His word, letting Him describe the relationship. Only then will you and I learn that we need not struggle with God’s identity and with what it means for Him to be our Father.

Diabetes: All In on the Challenge

 

It’s been a while since I wrote anything about the challenges that come with being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. In part, I haven’t written about it because I seem to have landed on some sort of plateau where my numbers, specifically my A1c, are good but not good enough. Unfortunately, I seem to be stuck on this plateau with no movement either good or bad and that can be frustrating.

At least the doctor was happy with my most recent test results, but I wasn’t because I once again missed my goals. And that’s where self-doubt began to set in. Am I missing my goals because they are unrealistic or impossible? Are my prayers for healing off the mark? Was I being delusional back when I told the doctor that I expect God to do something amazing? After quite a bit of self-examination, I find that the answer to all these questions is a resounding “No!”.

My problem is not unrealistic expectations nor are my prayers misplaced. What is unrealistic is thinking that I could half-heartedly do the things I know I need to do and expect the results that I want. I need to be all in with my diet and exercise, or else I’ll remain stuck on this plateau. The good thing is that I’m blessed since my body still makes insulin. So, if I dive in with both feet, I have a shot at achieving the goals that I have set for myself. I must change in order to make that happen.

I have about five and a half months before my next doctor’s appointment, and I know what I want to see as far as results when that time comes. To get there I must be all in when it comes to my current health challenge. It’s time to stop kidding and to stop my halfhearted approach. The Bible tells me that I have a God who heals and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. These are the promises He has given me. Now I must live like I want to hold on to what He has offered.

How Does God Do That?

 

It never ceases to amaze me how God can show up at exactly the right time with exactly what I need. I’ve honestly lost count of the number of times when I had no answers, just to have God step in and take care of everything. It’s already happened several times this year and I still don’t know how He got me through each situation.

We tend to keep cars for a very long time. In fact, our minivan is approaching 13 years on the road. And while this saves money overall, it sometimes means dealing with major repairs when one part or another simply wears out. This year both cars needed almost identical front end suspension work. On top of that, the minivan needed tires. Then, just for added measure, my wife ran over something and punctured one of the back tires on her car. Whatever it was damaged the tire so badly that it had to be replaced, which also meant replacing the other back tire at the same time. Throw in new back brakes on the van and we were looking at a mountain of repair bills.

Funny thing about mountains, they look tiny in comparison to God and He had no problem leveling and getting rid of the mountain I was facing. Somehow, we had enough cash to cover every one of those repairs, with a large chunk of the money literally coming out of the blue. My wife was given an unexpected bonus for a job well done and it arrived in her paycheck the day before her car was scheduled to go into the shop. God provided once again and we are praising Him for taking care of us.

I still don’t know how God pulls this off time and time again, but I am sure glad that He does. I wonder what the next mountain will look like. No matter how tall, I look forward to seeing God deal with it according to His will. And just like every time before, I know I will find myself asking, “How Does God Do That?”