Prayer and Big Red Fire Engines

 

There’s still a part of me that likes seeing trucks, trains and cars with sirens on them (except when they’re hiding along the highway). I’m blessed by the fact that when I need to go into the city, I get to ride a train and sometimes along the way, my commuter train passes a freight train that runs on a parallel track just after we cross into Philly. Just the sound of a diesel locomotive takes me back to fun times playing with toy trains as a kid as I try to guess from its sounds if the train is running loaded or empty.

Then there’s the joy of seeing an 18-wheeler cruising down the highway, be it a flatbed, a dry van or a car carrier. Those remind me of times crawling around with an old Tanka, back when they were made of metal and were as tough as any other toy out there. I wish I still had some of my old Tanka trucks or even my old Tanka crane which easily stood four feet in the air when its boom was raised to its highest point.

Speaking of childhood, there’s a young child who lives in my neighborhood who seems to love pretending to be a fireman. I’ve seen him riding around in a fireman’s turnout coat as he makes what sounds like a real siren, heading for a pretend emergency. It looks and sounds like he’s having fun, almost as much fun as it would be to ride on a big red fire truck. But for me, the sound of a siren always triggers mixed feelings. Hearing one reminds me of pretending to be a policeman or a fireman, but as an adult, it also reminds me of the dangers our first responders often face as well as the fact that someone at some destination needs emergency help in one form or another.

So, while I enjoy the sights and sounds of an emergency vehicle, they have also become a reminder that someone needs prayer. I pray for the person or people who are waiting for a First Responder to arrive. I pray for the police officer(s), or firemen, or paramedics who are responding to the call, often without truly knowing what they are getting ready to walk into. They need divine protection and I thank God that He goes into each situation with those who run towards danger.

For me, a red fire engine is a reminder to salute our First Responders, being thankful for all they do. It is also a reminder that they need our support and our prayer, as they put their lives on the line to protect all of us.

Struggling With God’s Identity

 

That’s a weird title for a blog post, isn’t it? But I find myself thinking that a lot of the things I struggle with as a Christian, really come down to not accepting that God is Whom He says He is. For example, I sometimes worry about money, which seems like something Christians just shouldn’t worry about. After all, the Bible promises that God will provide for all my needs (Philippians 4:19), which means my worries (my lack of faith) is unwarranted. So why, in the face of this promise, do I worry?

Thinking about it, I do not doubt God’s ability to provide, He is after all the Almighty and everything belongs to Him. I can’t begin to fathom what the Bible means by “His riches in glory” but it seems to indicate that He has the resources needed to take care of me and my family. In fact, there have been many times when I have reminded others of Philippians 4:19, so why would I struggle to apply it to my own life? After pondering this contradiction, I’ve concluded that my problem is not with the idea of God providing. Instead, my problem is with God’s identity as my Father.

The Bible promises that those who receive Jesus and believe in His name have been given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). That sounds good but what kind of relationship is the Bible talking about? My earthly father and my mother were not perfect nor were they all powerful. They did their best (and I love them both) but they were limited, not having riches in glory like God. They both had their own laundry list of problems (just like everyone else’s parents) and some of these became the wedge which eventually led to their divorce and to my not seeing my dad very often. In short, my view of the father-son relationship was tainted by problems in my family: problems that go back all the way to Adam.

My dad was less than perfect, and he got stuck with a less than perfect son. Together we forged a less than perfect father-son relationship. So, how do I go from that to the relationship offered in the Bible: A relationship where I am still less than perfect, trying to relate to a perfect Heavenly Father? I find that it’s His identity as Heavenly Father that I struggle with as I wonder what the Creator of the Universe means when He says that He is my Father.

The offer is clear: Believe in the name of Jesus and you receive the right to become a child of God. It’s the relationship itself that is less clear and any attempt on my end to define it falls way short of what God desires. Instead of struggling we need to accept God at His word, letting Him describe the relationship. Only then will you and I learn that we need not struggle with God’s identity and with what it means for Him to be our Father.

Diabetes: All In on the Challenge

 

It’s been a while since I wrote anything about the challenges that come with being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. In part, I haven’t written about it because I seem to have landed on some sort of plateau where my numbers, specifically my A1c, are good but not good enough. Unfortunately, I seem to be stuck on this plateau with no movement either good or bad and that can be frustrating.

At least the doctor was happy with my most recent test results, but I wasn’t because I once again missed my goals. And that’s where self-doubt began to set in. Am I missing my goals because they are unrealistic or impossible? Are my prayers for healing off the mark? Was I being delusional back when I told the doctor that I expect God to do something amazing? After quite a bit of self-examination, I find that the answer to all these questions is a resounding “No!”.

My problem is not unrealistic expectations nor are my prayers misplaced. What is unrealistic is thinking that I could half-heartedly do the things I know I need to do and expect the results that I want. I need to be all in with my diet and exercise, or else I’ll remain stuck on this plateau. The good thing is that I’m blessed since my body still makes insulin. So, if I dive in with both feet, I have a shot at achieving the goals that I have set for myself. I must change in order to make that happen.

I have about five and a half months before my next doctor’s appointment, and I know what I want to see as far as results when that time comes. To get there I must be all in when it comes to my current health challenge. It’s time to stop kidding and to stop my halfhearted approach. The Bible tells me that I have a God who heals and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. These are the promises He has given me. Now I must live like I want to hold on to what He has offered.