It has been over a decade since it happened and I long ago forgave the people involved, including the person who instigated the entire episode. I was wronged and my reputation was tarnished. I was left wounded emotionally and at times even doubting myself, wondering if I was really the monster that others said I was. But what hurt most of all was the doubt expressed by members of my family who were also close to those who did me wrong. Nothing hurts worse than having loved ones question you about something you did not do. As I said, I had long ago forgiven everyone involved and had not planned to bring the situation up ever again. Yet, after over a decade I was confronted by this situation once again when one of the people involved offered an apology.
Of course I accepted that apology, grateful that it meant that much to this person. I suppose that should have been the end of it, except that I found myself thinking about all of the people who either thought I was wrong or who didn’t know what to think. A few of them have passed away, doing so never having learned the truth. Those who are still alive today most likely don’t even think about what happened but if asked would tell a side of the story which they were told by others. After ignoring the temptation to get angry about it, I found myself longing for a public apology which I likely will never get.
So here is a question for you. Are there times when apologies should be made in public? This has nothing to do with whether or not we forgive others. We are called to do that even without an apology. But in response to a very public wrong, should the apology be just as public? To be honest I don’t need a public apology (which I suppose answers my question) and I know that God knows exactly what happened, which is the most important fact. But that question will probably always live in the back of my mind and I hope that if I wrong someone publicly, I will remember this feeling and let it drive me to apologize in public.
