When Lightning Strikes Twice

In 1993 my wife and I were still newlyweds and still getting used to living life together. For my wife this meant getting used to being a football widow every Sunday from September to February. So on January third, with my new mother-in-law in town, I figured it was best for my fledgling marriage if I gave in to my wife’s request and took her and her mother shopping. Full disclosure, shopping is one of my least favorite activities but I decided to be nice figuring I would only miss one NFL playoff game.

We made a few different stops, including one in Strawbridges in nearby Willow Grove Park Mall. For those of you not from Pennsylvania, New York or New Jersey Strawbridges was a department store that evolved from a local store called Strawbridge and Clothier, which was eventually bought by Macy’s. At some point the folks at Macy’s did away with the Strawbridges name but my story takes place back when the mall had both Macy’s and Strawbridges as anchor stores and when department stores still had a wall of televisions in their electronics sections.

On that day it seemed like every television in the store was turned to the game and there was a large group of men watching. Somehow they seemed unusually excited about what was at that point an overtime game, so I decided to stick around to watch how the game ended. Little did I know that I was seeing the end of what was then the greatest comeback in NFL history which ended with a Buffalo field goal in OT. As the ball went through the uprights I decided that from that time forward I would regularly remind my wife that I missed this historic game because she wanted to go shopping. Fortunately she has a good sense of humor and we have both learned to laugh whenever I tell this story.

After this past weekend the laughs are all on me and this will probably be the last time that I ever tell the story of missing the Bills’ comeback win. This weekend I was the one who planned an afternoon shopping trip, even though this was one of the Saturdays when there would be NFL games. Both my son and my wife thought it odd that I would choose shopping over football but I needed to finish my Christmas list. Besides, I figured I would only miss one game and that’s where I made my mistake. 

Somehow, once again, I missed the greatest comeback in NFL history as the Vikings came back from being down by 33 points to beat the Colts in overtime. Yes, somehow lightning did strike twice and it’s finally time for me to put an old story to rest. Now my wife can tell everyone how I made her miss the greatest comeback in NFL history and if you see me shopping during a football game you might want to run to the nearest television.

Looping Coasters and...What's Her Name?

As a codependent one of the first things to go was my ability to trust. Trust leaves you vulnerable and when you trust an alcoholic, as I did, trust wrecks your life. You quickly learn that being vulnerable can leave long lasting emotional injuries from which it seems impossible to heal. My most important relationship was too unpredictable and too full of pain for me to trust anyone else, including myself. So it was easier to just not trust anyone. In fact, as a child the only thing that I feared more than trusting someone was...well...looping roller coasters.

Back then my favorite roller coaster was any coaster that didn't have loops. I could tolerate the highest hills and the steepest drops. High speed turns were a must as I wanted to feel g-forces, the kind that made it hard to sit up straight. I loved (and still love) wooden coasters even if they sometimes felt rickety and metal coasters are fine, although the smooth ride takes away some of the feeling of speed. Up, down and around, roller coasters have always been my favorite part of going to an amusement park and I would ride any coaster as long as it didn't turn me upside down.

I'm not sure why I was afraid of loops and corkscrews, afterall I knew the physics behind why I wouldn't fall out. My dad is an engineer so I knew the physics behind a number of things and he demonstrated the concept behind a loop by using a glass of ice. The ice barely moved as the glass flipped over. It didn't even raise its hands and scream. (Silly ice, screaming is the best part of the ride.) There was no reason to be afraid but I chose to miss out until that fateful day when my 6th grade class took a field trip to Old Chicago Amusement Park.

Old Chicago Amusement Park was a bit of an oddity in its day: a fully enclosed amusement park wrapped in a shopping mall. Opened in 1975, it was billed as the first indoor amusement park (Mall of America opened years later  in 1992). I doubt the park ever made any money. The rumor back then was that it was built to be a massive tax writeoff. By the time of our class trip it was already clear that the park was in trouble. Many of the stores were closed leaving the mall section with a number of boarded up storefronts painted to look like they were stores from an 1890s era main street. Of course as preteens we didn't care about the boarded up stores, even though we had to pass them all to get to where the rides were. We only cared about two things: the rides and which one of the girls we would ride with.

Funny but I can't remember her name now but back then I would have done anything for her. She knew it and all our friends knew it as well. And so she became the one designated to get me to go where I said I would never go, into the queue of the Chicago Loop: a looping roller coaster named after the section of the city where Grant Park and the Willis Tower (Sears Tower) are located. My friends were quick to correct me telling me they were corkscrews not loops. Either way they turned riders upside down and everyone knew that the idea of a loop made me weak in the knees. But she asked and I was stuck riding the coaster. Anything to sit next to what's her name.

I was scared...to,,,death! So, as the ride pulled off I did what any red blooded coward would do. I closed my eyes. Did you know that with your eyes closed a ride on a roller coaster is over before you realize you've hit the bottom of the first drop? Yes you still get that feeling in your stomach on the first drop but the rest of the ride feels kind of like a wobbly seesaw. I couldn't believe it when the ride was over. What had I been so afraid of?

Later, what's her name conned me into buying her lunch. After that I didn't see her again...ever again. We wound up going to different schools the next year. Such is the life of a preteen. She was out of my life. In her wake I was left with a love for looping roller coasters.

Now I can't leave an amusement park without riding every coaster no matter what type. Just ask my family about the long queue lines. One time we stood in a queue line that was so long that it had a concession stand about a quarter of the way down its length. The ride was worth the wait (the food wasn't worth it but the coaster was). I love roller coasters, especially when they turn me upside down. I wish I could thank ole’ what's her name for getting me on the Loop. If only I could remember her name!

(I understand that as Old Chicago was closing a number of its rides were sold to other amusement parks. The Chicago Loop is now the Canobie Corkscrew located in Canobie Lake Park in New Hampshire.)

One, Two or Three Servings?

Have you ever gotten three and a half servings out of a bag of chips? I'm talking about one of those 3.5oz bags that look like one serving but say they contain 3.5 servings. Generally I finish those off in one sitting, two at the most. I doubt I've ever stretched one to three and a half servings. I just don't have that kind of self discipline. Do you?

The other day I looked at the serving size on a bag of crunchy style Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. (Never tried them? You must. Just save some for me.) The folks at Frito-Lay say that a serving size is “About 21 pieces.” That's an average of course. I wonder if they have a machine calibrated to measure out exactly 73.5 Flamin' Hot Cheetos per bag. And what qualifies as one Cheeto? The size and even shape of each crunchy Cheeto seem somewhat random, not like puffed Cheetos which come out fairly uninformed. Do I get one extra Cheeto for each one that is too small?

Once while babysitting I shared a bag of Cheetos with a five year old. (Not the flamin' kind. Don't think those were out yet.) Sitting side by side on the couch with the bag between us, I noticed she seemed to be putting her hand in the bag more often than I. I wrote it off to the fact that she was pulling out one Cheeto at a time where I was grabbing handfuls. Then I found a Cheeto that was wet on one end. That's when I realized she was biting them in half and tossing what was left back in the bag. I guess the first bite is always the best and this was a great lesson preparing me for when I became a parent.

Anyway, I am not very well calibrated when it comes to knowing how many Cheetos or potato chips are in a handful. I have no idea if I have eaten 21 or 73 Cheetos. I just know when the bag is finished. How about you? Do you get 3.5 servings or do you eat the whole bag in one sitting? Well, I’m up for a challenge. It will take quite a bit of restraint to pull it off. I’m going to try to get the right number of servings out of the bags of my favorite snack foods. Think I can pull it off? Can you?

The U-505: A WWII Trophy and A Can’t Miss Tour

As a teen I always enjoyed visiting the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. During both family bonding time and school field trips, I was always amazed at how much there was to see even though I was afraid that the statue pillars near the front door might one day come after me. Of all there was to see in the museum my favorite attraction was and is the U-505, a captured German U-boat on exhibit inside of the museum. I wish I could have been there this past June 4th to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the capture of U-505 by a U.S. battle fleet during World War II.

Before 1944 the United States had not captured any enemy ship since the war of 1812. With German U-boats terrorizing shipping across the Atlantic, the best any country could do was damage or perhaps sink one. These ships were quite successful in cutting off shipping lanes and the German naval command hoped to use them to cut off supplies to England, turning the U-boats into a great threat to that country’s survival.

The U-505 was a type IXc submarine. This class of submarine was large and built for long range use. She was fitted with two sets of engines: battery driven electric motors for use underwater and diesel engines for when she moved along the surface. She began service under real battle conditions in 1942, seeing some success while also being labeled a ‘Hard-luck ship.’

I remember standing in line to see the U-505. Back then they did not have timed entry so we stood in a very long queue, winding our way past various objects from the museum’s WWII collection. Though it seemed like we were in line for an eternity, it was cool to be able to sit on top of a torpedo or two as the line slowly moved forward. With so many great artifacts, and a movie about the sub’s capture, the build up to seeing the ship was almost as cool as seeing the ship itself.

The museum moved the ship inside back in 2004. According to the museum’s website, a German submarine was only built to last for four years. In 1997, after more than fifty years of exposure to weather the U-505 needed repair. The museum decided that the best way to preserve the U-505 was to move the entire sub indoors, which must have been a monumental task. Having moved away from the area back in the 1980’s, I was not able to see it in its new enclosure until 2018. Boy was it a treat being able to stand beside her, coming face to face with all 252 feet of her hull. No longer did I have

to look out of a window while standing in line, I could stand right next to her imagining the fear U boats must have inspired while in water.

I vaguely remember references to her hard-luck status during tours when I was a child but it didn’t really sink in as to why people spoke of the U-505 in this way. While she started off with a successful run, things seemed to have taken a negative turn starting with her inadvertent attack on a sailing ship. As told by Hans Goebeler (a member of the U-505 crew) and reported by John P. Vanzo for the July 1997 issue of World War II Magazine, the captain of the U-505 ordered a shot across the bow of a sailing ship that was zig-zagging across the water. But instead of serving as a warning, the shot hit the sailboat’s main mast. The U-505 went on to sink what turned about to be a ship owned by a Colombian diplomat. With that Colombia declared war on Germany and the U-505’s captain was transferred out of command.

The U-505’s second captain took his own life during a battle. The ship itself suffered many problems due to sabotage by the shipyard workers whose job it was to maintain the sub (according to Vanzo’s article). Workers used tactics such as leaving the ship with leaky fuel tanks so that she left a trail of diesel fuel upon the water. Some of her welds were sub-par, said to have been weakened by pieces of rope. The success of these attempts at sabotage, along with other less than stellar outcomes during her missions, helped establish the U-505’s reputation as unlucky even before she was captured by U.S. Hunter-Killer Task Group 22.3.

On June 4, 1944 the U-505 rose to periscope depth only to find herself surrounded by the hunter-killer task group. The crew tried to submerge but were unable to get away as the task group’s depth charges drove her back to the surface. The crew abandoned ship, attempting to scuttle the U-505 to prevent her being captured. However soldiers from the U.S. task group were able to board and prevent her from sinking, stabilizing the sub so she could be secretly towed away. The U.S. did not want Germany to know they had captured the U-boat, allowing them time to learn as many of her secrets as they could. And now she reveals those secrets to tourists, like a former Midwesterner who in 2018 got to enjoy taking his sons to see one of his childhood favorites.

If you’re in Chicago I recommend the Museum of Science and Industry, and the tour of the U-505. Both are well worth the price of admission, as are a number of other exhibits such as the working coal mine. My family and I did not make it to the coal mine this time around. That will have to wait until our next trip to Chicago.

For more on the U-505:
The Museum of Science and Industry Home Page
https://www.msichicago.org/

Story of moving the U-505 inside

https://www.msichicago.org/explore/whats-here/exhibits/u-505-submarine/exhibit/restoration-relocation/conserving-the-u-505/

Crewman Hans Goebeler shares his memories of the U-505

https://www.historynet.com/german-submarine-u-505-crewmember-hans-goebeler-recalls-being-captured-during-world-war-ii.htm

Yes, Taking Out the Trash Can Be Fun

Photo by Emmet from Pexels

Owning a home comes with a lot of ups and downs. Fortunately the positives outweigh the negatives. Yes there are the occasional repairs and surprise bills, but at the end of the day being able to sit in my room knowing I own the place makes even my daily chores worth while. In fact knowing the place is mine even makes taking out the trash a thing I look forward to doing.

How did taking out the trash become fun? Well, to understand you have to go back more than twenty years. Back then my wife and I lived in a fourth floor apartment and taking out the trash meant going all the way down to the basement where a back door lead out to the dumpster. Once out back I never quite knew what I might find on the ground. Old food was a regular standby, with chicken bones being a favorite. At least one of my neighbors must have owned a cat as it was impossible to get to the dumpster without stepping in litter: both clumped and coated on cat landmines.

When we first moved in I could not figure out why there was always such a mess by the dumpster. Were my neighbors using cheap trash bags, the kind that fail puncture tests on commercials? If so, how hard would it have been to clean up when a bag broke? Then one day, while I was putting trash in the dumpster, a bag fell from the sky. This surprise from the heavens hit the side of the dumpster, exploding on contact. I narrowly missed the pleasure of wearing some of its contents. That’s when I realized some of my neighbors were using the fire escape for a trash chute, instead of taking the long walk to the basement.

Having to walk in a mixture of trash and kitty litter was bad. Dodging flying trash bags was was even worse. But the most unpleasant surprise came when they decided to move the dumpster. My guess is that they were trying to get it away from the fire escape, forcing us all to stop being lazy. They moved it over several feet, putting it right under our apartment window. I wouldn’t have thought much about the move except that it came at a most inopportune time for me and my wife.

Dads, did you notice how sensitive your wife’s sense of smell became when she was pregnant? When they moved the dumpster, my wife was four or five months pregnant. We had just come back from shopping and she was in the apartment less than two minutes before complaining about the smell. Without even looking she told me the dumpster had been moved and was now under our window. A quick glance outside proved she was right. Of course the task of contacting our landlord fell to me: better the embarrassment of pleading for a dumpster move than to endure a pregnant and nauseous wife for another four or five months.

Compared to trips to the dumpster, trash day is now a pleasant opportunity to go outside. I no longer worry about stepping in anything...most of the time. (Cleanup after your dog please!) I control where I put the trash cans and I better not catch anyone tossing trash bags down from above. When my wife was pregnant with our second son, I was able to make sure the trash cans were as far away from the house as possible. What a great feeling of control. But most of all trash day reminds me that the building I live in is mine. And so I look forward to taking out the trash. It is a reminder of where I have been and of the blessings I now have.

Mr. Incredible, Real Life Fatherhood and an Explosion of Straws

"Why would they change math? Math is math!" Mr. Incredible

I took my family to see “Incredibles 2” this past Father's Day. We all enjoyed the first movie and had hoped to see a sequel. When Disney announced movie 2 we knew we had to see it as soon as possible. I also had an ulterior motive in going to see the film. After reading one or two critiques which said the film portrays dads (represented by Mr. Incredible) in a negative light, I wanted to see for myself if this was yet another bad dad film. Considering the movie takes place in 1962 when family roles were a lot different than today, I was pleasantly surprised by a realistic portrayal (at least in my experience) of what it's like to be dad.

For the record "Incredibles 2" is an entertaining, though somewhat predictable movie. The action sequences are a lot of fun and while this is a superhero movie, it does a great job of poking fun at everyday life. Incredibles 2 picks up where its predecessor left off, in the parking lot right after Dash's track meet. Though the supers once again save the day, the world would still rather they stay in hiding. Against this backdrop Elastigirl is offered a job where she can fight crime while changing perceptions about supers.

Mom's new job means a number of changes in the family, including Mr. Incredible taking on a new role as a stay at home dad. I doubt this was very common in 1962. Back then most dads worked and would have scoffed at staying home with the children. There would have been bruised egos and a lack of know how if they were forced to take on the task. When judged by 2018 standards of course Mr. Incredible looks bad. I also suspect fifty-six years from now we will look like we didn’t have a clue to those looking back upon history.

With a precocious super powered baby, a moody teen whose having boy troubles and a son learning elementary school New Math, dad is in over his head. And yes he does make some silly mistakes, in at least one case making matters worse. He loses sleep. Eventually he loses his temper. He has to turn to Edna Mode and Frozone for help. For most of the movie it looks as if he is failing at his job. And as he struggles to figure it all out his day begins to look very familiar.

As any parent will tell you, when you are running late something will come up missing. Once when we were running late for my older son’s football picture day, he couldn't find his cleats. As we searched for the cleats my younger son discovered a box of 1000 drinking straws. Unfortunately toddlers (which he was at the time) are not good at opening boxes. Somehow he ripped the box in half sending the straws all over the family room. The sight of my son surrounded by a sea of straws would have made for a good picture had I had time to get my camera. It also made for a good laugh, which I would have enjoyed if not for the sound of my dog throwing up in the dining room.

I now had missing cleats, straws on the floor and vomit to clean up. There was only time to take care of two problems. I left the straws knowing I could explain things to my wife when she showed up for the football game. There was only one flaw in my plan and boy was it a big one. Instead of going straight to the field, like she said she was going to do, my wife decided to go home where she discovered that we no longer had any clean straws. In hindsight I should have cleaned up the straws and left the vomit. I could have then denied having any knowledge of the dog throwing up, which would have kept me out of the dog house.

Like Mr. Incredible I have made many mistakes while taking care of my children. Yes at times the house turns into a chaotic mess but eventually everything gets cleaned up. We found the cleats and on other occasions the remote, or whatever other item becomes lost at inopportune times. The children forgive me when I mishandle situations with their friends. Eventually even my wife learns to laugh at things, that is after she cleans up after me (just kidding). The same was true for the Parr family in “Incredibles 2,” where the kids survive Mr. Incredible's mistakes. Eventually one even compliments the job he does being dad.

“Incredibles 2” is not a disparaging portrayal of a father. It is an animated telling of what it's like for real dads, both in the 1960’s and today. We do our best, which often is less than perfect. Eventually we figure some of it out and everyone survives. But I still don't know why they would change math!

Second Time Around, Enjoying the Eagles' Win

I was called a front-runner as I searched for someone with whom I could celebrate the Super Bowl win. I grew up watching the Bears, having suffered a number of ups and downs. I still remember the season where the head coach kept changing quarterbacks like a baseball manager making changes on the mound. Then there was the season where so many Bears' QB's got injured that legendary running back Walter Payton had to run the offense out of the shotgun. After years of frustration the Bears won the Super Bowl. Unfortunately at the start of that season I moved to Atlanta to go to school.

There were very few Bears' fans in Atlanta in 1986 so I was alone in celebrating that win. I missed the parades and the interviews with crying and excited fans. I missed the build up during the '85 season, the excitement and the doubts as a defense that struggled early in the season became one of the best ever. I missed all the fun and excitement in Chicago as the Lombardi trophy took its place in Halas Hall. It hurt to miss out. I felt like I was not a part of things: a fan with no real connection. Having a (jealous) classmate call me a front-runner only added to the pain.

I still have an allegiance to the Bears but having lived in Philadelphia for 30 years I have grown quite fond of midnight green (kelly green as well). No, 30 years is not as long a time as some of the Eagles' fans in the area have suffered, but after not celebrating a win for 32 years I am ready for the festivities. I look forward to being in town for my second time around celebrating a Super Bowl win. This time I get to celebrate with millions of fans. I won't be alone and I don't expect to be called a front-runner. This time around I am going to drink it all in, truly enjoying the celebration.

E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!

Date Night at the Philadelphia Orchestra

Powerful! That's the word my wife used to describe Mahler's Third Symphony as performed by the

Modigliani Cello Player
Published before 1923
Public Domain in U.S.

Philadelphia Orchestra. Neither of us had ever gone to a live performance by a professional symphony. So when we received complimentary tickets we decided it was time for a long overdue date night.

This was our first visit to Verizon Hall located inside Philly’s Kimmel Center. The hall is a building within a building, sharing the Kimmel Center with the Lenfest Theater. The hall itself is a beautiful wooden structure, stained in a color that reminded me of a very large cello. Once inside I realized we were in fact stepping into the body of a large cello, complete with side curves reminiscent of C-ribs. The color and shape are appropriate as the acoustics make the building an important instrument in delivering the sound of the city’s top notch orchestra. And though we were in the third tier, this architectural wonder did a fine job of bringing each instrument cleanly to our listening ears.

The orchestra used their wooden home to its full potential, delivering a performance that kept my novice ears fully engaged. Mahler's third symphony is long but the orchestra, under the direction of Yannick Nézet-Séguin, made the listening experience fun. I understand why these musicians are invited to travel the world, representing the city of Philadelphia with a sound of which we should be proud. I should have long ago taken advantage of having a world class orchestra nearby. After seeing them in person during their last performance of the 2016-17 season, I will definitely be back for more.

If you live near or are planning a visit to Philly I suggest you consider a trip to Verizon Hall. The orchestra's season runs from September to May and the full calendar can be found at: www.philorch.org. Also the orchestra offers an etiquette page for us newbies, with tips on how to dress (I was overdressed) and when it is okay to applaud (very important).

I am looking forward to future visits to Verizon Hall. This was a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon with my wife. I think we both have a new favorite place.

How Will Ban of Russian Athletes Impact the Olympics?

What teenager would pass up free food? I couldn't and in 1984, going into my junior year of high school, I did not. Thanks to McDonald's and an Eastern Bloc boycott of the Olympics, I ate very well for two weeks in August. I enjoyed watching the U.S dominate in a somewhat lopsided competition. And with each medal we ran to join the line under the golden arches.

The events leading to the 1984 boycott began in 1978 with a coup against the government of Afghanistan. Shortly after taking over the new government faced a number of insurgencies by anticommunist and mostly Muslim leaning groups. In response Afganistan called upon the Soviet Union which responded to its new ally by sending troops in December 1979.

In response to the Soviet Union's actions in Afghanistan, the United States and a number of other countries joined in a boycott of the 1980 Summer Olympics held in Moscow. While the boycott was not supported by all western countries (France and Great Britain among others did not support the boycott) competition suffered. Meanwhile athletes from the U.S. and many other countries lost an opportunity to fulfill their Olympic dreams.

Four years later the Summer Olympics were hosted by the city of Los Angeles. Citing anti-Communist sentiments the Soviet Union claimed it was unsafe to send its athletes to the 1984 Olympics. Other Eastern Bloc countries followed suit. Without competition from the boycotting nations the United States won a record 83 gold medals. The nation’s very large medal haul would lead to very long lines at the nations’ McDonalds’ franchises.

That summer McDonalds' ran a promotion where each purchase came with an Olympic game card. Each card listed an Olympic event. If an American earned a medal in that event the cardholder received free food and another game card. That summer my friends and I, while attending a special summer science program in another state, lived on free Big Macs, Quarter Pounders and just about everything on the menu.

To my knowledge McDonalds' has no plans of repeating their Olympic promotion and has not done so since 1984. If any company were thinking of a similar promotion, this is not the year to do so. With allegations of tampering with drug testing results, a number of Russian athletes have been been banned from this year’s Olympics. The International Olympic Committee left it up to the individual sports federations to decide on suspensions for other Russian athletes. As a result a number of athletes will have to stay home.

I feel sad for the athletes who dreams may be lost due to the actions of those who came before them. At the same time I think it important to send a message. It is important that nations and athletes know that cheating will not be tolerated. It is also important, perhaps more important, that clean athletes know that the governing bodies of various sports support them in doing what is right.

As a parent I need those who are in charge of officiating sports to support the lesson I teach my children. In sports, while it is always more fun to win, cheating only ensures that everyone loses.