Yes, Taking Out the Trash Can Be Fun

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Owning a home comes with a lot of ups and downs. Fortunately the positives outweigh the negatives. Yes there are the occasional repairs and surprise bills, but at the end of the day being able to sit in my room knowing I own the place makes even my daily chores worth while. In fact knowing the place is mine even makes taking out the trash a thing I look forward to doing.

How did taking out the trash become fun? Well, to understand you have to go back more than twenty years. Back then my wife and I lived in a fourth floor apartment and taking out the trash meant going all the way down to the basement where a back door lead out to the dumpster. Once out back I never quite knew what I might find on the ground. Old food was a regular standby, with chicken bones being a favorite. At least one of my neighbors must have owned a cat as it was impossible to get to the dumpster without stepping in litter: both clumped and coated on cat landmines.

When we first moved in I could not figure out why there was always such a mess by the dumpster. Were my neighbors using cheap trash bags, the kind that fail puncture tests on commercials? If so, how hard would it have been to clean up when a bag broke? Then one day, while I was putting trash in the dumpster, a bag fell from the sky. This surprise from the heavens hit the side of the dumpster, exploding on contact. I narrowly missed the pleasure of wearing some of its contents. That’s when I realized some of my neighbors were using the fire escape for a trash chute, instead of taking the long walk to the basement.

Having to walk in a mixture of trash and kitty litter was bad. Dodging flying trash bags was was even worse. But the most unpleasant surprise came when they decided to move the dumpster. My guess is that they were trying to get it away from the fire escape, forcing us all to stop being lazy. They moved it over several feet, putting it right under our apartment window. I wouldn’t have thought much about the move except that it came at a most inopportune time for me and my wife.

Dads, did you notice how sensitive your wife’s sense of smell became when she was pregnant? When they moved the dumpster, my wife was four or five months pregnant. We had just come back from shopping and she was in the apartment less than two minutes before complaining about the smell. Without even looking she told me the dumpster had been moved and was now under our window. A quick glance outside proved she was right. Of course the task of contacting our landlord fell to me: better the embarrassment of pleading for a dumpster move than to endure a pregnant and nauseous wife for another four or five months.

Compared to trips to the dumpster, trash day is now a pleasant opportunity to go outside. I no longer worry about stepping in anything...most of the time. (Cleanup after your dog please!) I control where I put the trash cans and I better not catch anyone tossing trash bags down from above. When my wife was pregnant with our second son, I was able to make sure the trash cans were as far away from the house as possible. What a great feeling of control. But most of all trash day reminds me that the building I live in is mine. And so I look forward to taking out the trash. It is a reminder of where I have been and of the blessings I now have.

Should I Hate Mr. Ratburn Now?

Arthur (the children’s cartoon on PBS) was a fixture in our household for a number of years. Both of my children enjoyed watching and we even had a few of the books in our home library. I suspect my entire family can still sing the theme song. I certainly know it by heart. Arthur was a safe place to learn about manners and about handling bullies. With a cast made up of a number of different types of animals the cartoon was also a safe place to learn how people who are different can get along. But Arthur’s 22nd season began with a twist, one with which I suspect Christian parents will struggle. How we handle this twist will shape the beliefs of our children. Our responses will also affect how the church is seen from the outside.

This plot twist involves Mr. Ratburn, a third grade teacher who has been a part of the cartoon since its start. For twenty one seasons Mr. Ratburn has been a calm (but not perfect) mentor to the students of his class, representing an adult point of view for dealing with the ups and downs of being a child. This year we learn something about Mr. Ratburn which to my knowledge has never been talked about in any other episode. In this season’s premier episode Mr. Ratburn marries an aardvark: an aardvark who showed up for the wedding in a suit and tie.

So, how should followers of Christ deal with this plot twist? The knee jerk reaction is one of anger, lashing out at the show and its writers. I think this is the wrong response. For 21 years there was nothing wrong with the cartoon (aside from controversy over an episode of its spin-off “Postcards from Buster”). If parents suddenly slam the door on the series we send the message that Christians are afraid of and/or hate people who, in real life, are like Mr. Ratburn. We leave our own children with the wrong impression of how they should deal with real world issues. We also send the wrong message to people outside the church to whom we are called to minister. In order to avoid sending the wrong message believers should avoid the knee jerk reaction we are told we must have, choosing instead to trust God’s Spirit to give us the words we need in order to minister instead of trying to fight back. In other words we need to have a conversation with our children and with others who might be curious about our views.

Yes, I am certain that Mr. Ratburn’s wedding is meant to deliver a certain point of view, one that is at odds with the Christian faith. But we are told that our battle is not with flesh and blood. And so we must avoid the temptation to fight back out of a spirit of fear and hate, choosing instead the wisdom and love that can only come from our relationship with Christ. We must respond by being the light both in our homes and in our community.

No, I do not hate Mr. Ratburn. Nor should you.

Do you watch tv with your children?

On the day I finished this post I read about an Alabama PBS station which refused to show the episode. In their explanation they spoke of how parents trust PBS to provide programming that is safe for children to watch alone. I never trusted PBS or any other station, choosing to watch with my children. In fact even if the programming was “Christian programming,” I watched. (I know a lot of VeggieTales songs by heart.) I felt safer doing this and it gave opportunity to bond with my children.

Here is a link to a post where, while watching tv with one of my children, I found myself asking, Have We Lost Our True Heroes?

My Identity In Christ

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The biggest hurdle on the path of my Christian walk was that of recognizing my identity, as most of who I was and how I perceived myself was the result of codependent living. In fact I identified more with codependency than I did with being black. It didn’t help that my friends from time to time called me an Oreo Cookie, leaving me questioning my own racial makeup, nor did it help that I equated value with the ability to meet the expectations of other people. Even after becoming a Christian codependency is what defined me. That, along with being an Oreo who often fell short of expectations, was the reason that I didn't really like...me. These made up my identity and none of them was worth writing home about.

One of the things we tell people when they come to Christ is that they are a new creation. We tell people they are different: different from who they once were and different from people of the world of which they are no longer a citizen. That all sounded good to me and I made sure to tell everyone about this new me. However my heart did not feel new. It felt like the same heart of stone, the one God promised to replace but I felt like I missed my appointment. I called myself a child of God but in reality I doubted this fact more often than not. Though I said I was a new creation I still struggled with insecurity and with the view that I was a failure with fake relationships and with no real racial identity.

I wish at this point I could say that things just clicked one day and I realized something different about myself. That’s not how it happened. Instead I struggled for years after receiving Christ and being baptized. I struggled with impostor syndrome even as I was elevated into church leadership. I struggled with doubts, believing the promised abundant life in Christ was only for others not for a person like me. I believed these things because while I am saved and living the gift of eternal life, the most important part (a growing relationship with God) was missing.

The Bible tells us that eternal life is about relationship with God (John 17:3). It is about a complete change in identity wherein we become children of the Most High and He becomes our Father. As a result of the cross we are free to come home to our Creator, whose will is for us to know His love. In Christ we are given a new identity which we claim by faith. It may take time to learn to live as one of His but know that He is doing a good work in you. Know that as a believer you are not an impostor. By faith know that your identity is God’s son or daughter.