Struggling With God’s Identity

 

That’s a weird title for a blog post, isn’t it? But I find myself thinking that a lot of the things I struggle with as a Christian, really come down to not accepting that God is Whom He says He is. For example, I sometimes worry about money, which seems like something Christians just shouldn’t worry about. After all, the Bible promises that God will provide for all my needs (Philippians 4:19), which means my worries (my lack of faith) is unwarranted. So why, in the face of this promise, do I worry?

Thinking about it, I do not doubt God’s ability to provide, He is after all the Almighty and everything belongs to Him. I can’t begin to fathom what the Bible means by “His riches in glory” but it seems to indicate that He has the resources needed to take care of me and my family. In fact, there have been many times when I have reminded others of Philippians 4:19, so why would I struggle to apply it to my own life? After pondering this contradiction, I’ve concluded that my problem is not with the idea of God providing. Instead, my problem is with God’s identity as my Father.

The Bible promises that those who receive Jesus and believe in His name have been given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). That sounds good but what kind of relationship is the Bible talking about? My earthly father and my mother were not perfect nor were they all powerful. They did their best (and I love them both) but they were limited, not having riches in glory like God. They both had their own laundry list of problems (just like everyone else’s parents) and some of these became the wedge which eventually led to their divorce and to my not seeing my dad very often. In short, my view of the father-son relationship was tainted by problems in my family: problems that go back all the way to Adam.

My dad was less than perfect, and he got stuck with a less than perfect son. Together we forged a less than perfect father-son relationship. So, how do I go from that to the relationship offered in the Bible: A relationship where I am still less than perfect, trying to relate to a perfect Heavenly Father? I find that it’s His identity as Heavenly Father that I struggle with as I wonder what the Creator of the Universe means when He says that He is my Father.

The offer is clear: Believe in the name of Jesus and you receive the right to become a child of God. It’s the relationship itself that is less clear and any attempt on my end to define it falls way short of what God desires. Instead of struggling we need to accept God at His word, letting Him describe the relationship. Only then will you and I learn that we need not struggle with God’s identity and with what it means for Him to be our Father.