Struggling With God’s Identity

 

That’s a weird title for a blog post, isn’t it? But I find myself thinking that a lot of the things I struggle with as a Christian, really come down to not accepting that God is Whom He says He is. For example, I sometimes worry about money, which seems like something Christians just shouldn’t worry about. After all, the Bible promises that God will provide for all my needs (Philippians 4:19), which means my worries (my lack of faith) is unwarranted. So why, in the face of this promise, do I worry?

Thinking about it, I do not doubt God’s ability to provide, He is after all the Almighty and everything belongs to Him. I can’t begin to fathom what the Bible means by “His riches in glory” but it seems to indicate that He has the resources needed to take care of me and my family. In fact, there have been many times when I have reminded others of Philippians 4:19, so why would I struggle to apply it to my own life? After pondering this contradiction, I’ve concluded that my problem is not with the idea of God providing. Instead, my problem is with God’s identity as my Father.

The Bible promises that those who receive Jesus and believe in His name have been given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). That sounds good but what kind of relationship is the Bible talking about? My earthly father and my mother were not perfect nor were they all powerful. They did their best (and I love them both) but they were limited, not having riches in glory like God. They both had their own laundry list of problems (just like everyone else’s parents) and some of these became the wedge which eventually led to their divorce and to my not seeing my dad very often. In short, my view of the father-son relationship was tainted by problems in my family: problems that go back all the way to Adam.

My dad was less than perfect, and he got stuck with a less than perfect son. Together we forged a less than perfect father-son relationship. So, how do I go from that to the relationship offered in the Bible: A relationship where I am still less than perfect, trying to relate to a perfect Heavenly Father? I find that it’s His identity as Heavenly Father that I struggle with as I wonder what the Creator of the Universe means when He says that He is my Father.

The offer is clear: Believe in the name of Jesus and you receive the right to become a child of God. It’s the relationship itself that is less clear and any attempt on my end to define it falls way short of what God desires. Instead of struggling we need to accept God at His word, letting Him describe the relationship. Only then will you and I learn that we need not struggle with God’s identity and with what it means for Him to be our Father.

God, You Got the Wrong Person!!

 

Have you ever said, “Not me!” to God? Or have you ever heard what you thought was God’s instructions, but dismissed it because it didn’t make sense to you? Guess what? You’re not the only one to say this to God. He has heard it millions, perhaps billions of times including when Moses said:

“Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh,…?”

Exodus 3:11 (NKJV)

To be honest, on his own Moses was right. By himself he would be no match for Pharaoh and likely would have wound up in prison, if not worse. But he did not have to go it alone on this one, as God had already planned to go with him:

So He (God) said, “I will certainly be with you.”

Exodus 3:12 (NKJV)

That sounds like another conversation, where Jesus promised to be with His followers as we carry out the Great Commission:

“All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:16-20 (NKJV)

As I wrote in the previous post, prayer is a two-way conversation: one where God does not mind when we acknowledge our own shortcomings. It’s there, in prayer, that God reminds us that He is with us and will work to bring about His will. And that might be the greatest aspect of prayer as it is an opportunity for God to make us more aware of His presence in our lives.

No God does not have the wrong person. He has called the very person that He wants to work with and through. How will you respond?

What Did Moses Hear Part 2: What Did Moses See?

After breaking the original stone tablets, Moses ascended the mountain at God’s invitation carrying two new tablets on which God would write the Law. While Moses was up there, The LORD descended in the cloud and stood by Him (Exodus 34:5) . As I wrote in earlier posts, this had to have been an amazing mountain top experience and I think there is a lot to learn about God in what He says to Moses. (See also What Did Moses Hear?) Exodus 34 tells us that the LORD proclaimed His name and I want to take time to examine what He said. But before we do, let’s think about what Moses saw.

Moses cut two new stones and took an early morning hike up Mount Sinai as commanded by the LORD (Exodus 34:4). As he reached his destination, Moses was joined by the LORD who, according to verse 5, “...descended in the cloud and stood with him there…” My understanding is that the cloud represented the presence of God on the mountain. So at that moment Moses could already see the presence of the Lord on the mountain top. But then the Bible says the Lord went a step further by standing there in the cloud with Moses. It’s as if, according to Moses’ testimony, the LORD took some sort of physical form right there in the cloud. How awesome must that have been?

What did Moses see standing next to Him? Both Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers and the Pulpit Commentary point to God’s promise recorded in the previous chapter that His “goodness” would pass before Moses. Both also point to the pillar of cloud that led Israel out of Egypt. We are limited because the Bible does not tell us exactly what Moses saw or how he was able to see, or otherwise become aware of, the LORD standing with him. But somehow, someway the LORD was there and Moses got to see and hear God in some way, shape or form.

Are you aware of what the Lord is doing in your life? If you are a Christian, are you aware of God’s Spirit living in your heart? Even more important, have you surrendered your will to the One who is always with you? Today we likely will never have the experience that Moses had on Mount Sinai, at least not while we are here on earth, but the Lord is with us and will find ways to make His presence known. Ask God to help you be aware of His presence in your life. Seek Him with all of your heart and He will reveal Himself to you.

“But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Deuteronomy 4:29 (NKJV)

The Battle Between My Ears

The end of 2024 is fast approaching which means it is time to update my ten year plan. This also means setting goals for 2025: goals that will help me take a step or two forward along my chosen path. I don’t really make New Year’s resolutions, although I guess in a way some of my goals fit the bill. But whether I call them goals or resolutions, I face the same problem that I hear others talking about year after year as we all take on new challenges without giving in by Quitters Day, something I only recently learned was a thing. (In 2025 it occurs on January 10th.)

Setting goals is a relatively new thing for me. I think I made my first serious attempt at creating a ten year plan at the end of 2017. It sounds funny to admit that I never set any real goals for the first fifty years of my life but before then I simply did what others said was best for me. I suspect this was a direct result of growing up as a codependent, where my mom’s alcoholism too often derailed my attempts at achieving something in life. Codependency meant giving up trying to succeed back when I was a teen, becoming convinced that setting goals would only remind me that I was a failure. (I didn’t understand it back then but a lot of that came from the toxic language that was the norm in my home, especially on the days that the bottle was in control.) By letting others direct my path, I could blame them when I failed even though that really did not help me feel any better about the results.

By 2017 I was ready to set real goals but I was not ready to achieve those goals. All too often I lost the battle between my ears. This battle came in the form of an internal voice which generally focused on my fears and my own perceived limitations. As a Christian, I often encouraged others to believe that God would bless them and that they could do all things through Christ who strengthens them (Philippians 4:13). At the same time I often talked myself out of living with that kind of faith, allowing that voice to have too much control even as I recognized that it was an echo of my life before I became a Christian. As a result I fell short when it came to achieving my goals and in moving forward in life according to the will of God.

This internal, codependent, and negative voice talked me out of doing the things that I said I wanted to do, while talking me into wasting time with things that often derailed my progress. Fortunately I’ve learned to argue with this voice, talking myself into doing the things that I know will help me achieve my goals. I’ve found that for me the, “...all things in Christ…,” begins with being able to win the battle between my own ears. God has freed me from bondage to that voice and He has also empowered me to move forward where I once held myself back. Now I am free of the excuses and of blaming others and I am ready to follow God’s perfect will for my life.

With this change in my own thinking I am prepared to update my ten year plan and to set my goals for 2025. Up until now my track record has not been great but as I win my own internal battle I expect that the results in 2025 will be something to brag about by this time next year.

What Did Matthew Believe About Baby Jesus?

Matthew 1:22-25

After describing what the angel said about baby Jesus, Matthew explains how he believed that the birth of Jesus Christ was the fulfillment of the promise given in Isaiah 7:14:

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” (NKJV)

Matthew also believed Joseph’s reasons for not putting his wife away and how Joseph obeyed the command that was given to him by the angel. Both Joseph and Matthew knew that this was an angel (a messenger) of the Lord and I suspect they both saw the angel’s words as having the same effect as if God had said them directly Himself. I suspect Mary had the same understanding.

Because Matthew believed this to be the fulfillment of the promise, he also believed that the child born to Mary and Joseph was Immanuel (God with us) whom Matthew would meet in person almost thirty years later. Matthew believed that Jesus was God and that He is our Savior. His description of the early relationship between Mary and Joseph along with the words of the angel serve to reveal these aspects of Jesus’ true nature. Here in a few short verses we have the angel’s point of view, Joseph’s point of view and Matthew’s, with all of them pointing to one conclusion. Jesus is God and He is our savior.

What Did The Angel Say About Baby Jesus?

In Matthew 1:18-21 an angel appears to Joseph in a dream, giving him guidance on how to handle what must have been shocking (and somewhat hard to believe) news. His betrothed was pregnant and it wasn’t his. Not only that but she claimed that she had done nothing wrong. In fact, she said that she was serving the Lord. It would have been a difficult situation for any couple but to truly understand Joseph’s predicament, we must look at the difference between what we call today a period of engagement versus the step of betrothal and what that meant for any couple back then.

A quick glance at a number of different sources reveals that back then being betrothed was the first of two steps in a Jewish marriage. This step involved an official and very public commitment to each other, marking the moment at which the couple became husband and wife. The agreement was binding and the only way out of it was either to get a divorce or to die. And so I suspect that from Joseph’s point of view, Mary had to have committed adultery and it was his right to make a public example of Mary. Under the Law he could have had her stoned to death but that’s not what Joseph wanted.

As he struggles with what he should do, looking for a way to break things off with his wife without dragging her through the mud, Joseph falls asleep and has a dream in which an angel appears before him. The angel tells him to stop worrying about it and to take his wife. In other words the angel was telling Joseph to complete the second step of a Jewish wedding as was custom at the time. Normally, after the betrothal, the husband would prepare a home to which he would bring his wife. I’m guessing the home was ready (or nearly ready) and the angel tells Joseph to take his wife home. In doing so the angel explains that the child was of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 1:20). He also tells Joseph that Mary would have a son: so much for waiting to be surprised.

Finally the angel tells Joseph that he should name the child Jesus and that this son,”...will save His people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21 NKJV) By declaring this, the angel gives Joseph a quick glimpse into Jesus’ true nature. This Jesus was declared to be the Savior, a declaration made by an angel who was serving as God’s messenger. In fact that is the meaning of the word angel: God’s messenger. What a message this particular angel delivered to a simple Jewish man and as God’s messenger, this angel’s words carried the same force as if they were spoken by God Himself

This Jesus is Savior and I believe Matthew was called by God to describe this scene for us so that we, like Joseph, can catch a glimpse of Jesus’ true nature and of how He is seen from a heavenly perspective. Today what we as followers of Christ declare is the message of the angel, that Jesus saves His people: the people of God and God’s children. Do you take this angel at his word? Do you truly understand that Jesus is the Savior of His people and of the world?

Should Apologies be Made in Public?

It has been over a decade since it happened and I long ago forgave the people involved, including the person who instigated the entire episode. I was wronged and my reputation was tarnished. I was left wounded emotionally and at times even doubting myself, wondering if I was really the monster that others said I was. But what hurt most of all was the doubt expressed by members of my family who were also close to those who did me wrong. Nothing hurts worse than having loved ones question you about something you did not do. As I said, I had long ago forgiven everyone involved and had not planned to bring the situation up ever again. Yet, after over a decade I was confronted by this situation once again when one of the people involved offered an apology.

Of course I accepted that apology, grateful that it meant that much to this person. I suppose that should have been the end of it, except that I found myself thinking about all of the people who either thought I was wrong or who didn’t know what to think. A few of them have passed away, doing so never having learned the truth. Those who are still alive today most likely don’t even think about what happened but if asked would tell a side of the story which they were told by others. After ignoring the temptation to get angry about it, I found myself longing for a public apology which I likely will never get.

So here is a question for you. Are there times when apologies should be made in public? This has nothing to do with whether or not we forgive others. We are called to do that even without an apology. But in response to a very public wrong, should the apology be just as public? To be honest I don’t need a public apology (which I suppose answers my question) and I know that God knows exactly what happened, which is the most important fact. But that question will probably always live in the back of my mind and I hope that if I wrong someone publicly, I will remember this feeling and let it drive me to apologize in public.