Which One Do You Follow?

The Bible says one thing. Your heart says something completely different. The people around you give yet another suggestion. Which one do you believe? Two of the suggestions are misguided and one involves believing the truth but at times making the right choice is difficult. That’s when our real beliefs are exposed and we either pass or fail the test of our faith. This is a test that comes with one major question: A question that is both simple and at the same time very difficult. What is this pass or fail question? When confronted with a choice between the words of the Bible, the voice in your own head and the voices of those around us, which one do you follow?

In chapter 27 Matthew describes Jesus’ crucifixion. While He was on the cross, the people around him taunted Him and challenged Him to come down from the cross. In their eyes Jesus was a fraud, someone to be ridiculed for finding Himself in the position He was in. I suspect that in their taunts we see their belief of what should have happened if Jesus were really the Son of God. In their minds, the Son would be able to come down or would be saved from the cross by His Father. This was their view of God and anything other than what they chose to believe had to be fake.

Human wisdom says that God would never let His Son die on a cross and that anyone with the power of Christ would come off the cross. The world around Jesus believed that anyone with the power of the Savior would fight before suffering, hence why one of His disciples initially chose the sword over standing by while Jesus was arrested (Matthew 26:51). In the eyes of those around Jesus, the cross could never be the will of the Father and using Christ’s power to work a miracle escape sounded like a good idea.

Christ heard their taunts, and I wonder if they sounded like a good idea. In a way the suggestions/taunts must have sounded a lot like Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:39). While praying, Jesus revealed a desire that He knew conflicted with the will of His Father. He asked if there was a way that this cup, this plan for His death, could pass from Him. Like us, Jesus would have chosen an easier path, even mentioning this to His Father. But He was more interested in doing His Father’s will than He was in giving into temptation.

As I read Matthew 26 and 27, I find myself wondering what it was like to be bombarded with so many ideas that, for a normal human, would have seemed more palatable than the path ahead. How many times have I called out to God asking Him to do something different: asking Him to help me avoid the trial that He wants me to go through. How many times have I (though I hate to admit it) entertained suggestions that if God were loving He would help me avoid the trials or He would keep those around me from suffering. It’s easy to believe that the easy road is the best choice and that I know better than God. It’s also foolish to believe that and Jesus understood this as He obeyed His Father’s will over the other choices (be they serious or choices delivered as a part of taunting).

When confronted with multiple choices on what we should do, there is a right answer: Follow God’s will. Doing so comes because of our faith in God. Any other choice is us saying we know better than God and that is a form of idolatry. So, in difficult times, where do you put your trust? Which path do you follow?

Have You Ever Prayed a Psalm 88 Prayer?

I’m writing this post during Holy Week, one of the most important times of the year for most Christians. Soon we will reflect upon the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, celebrating the fact that He paid our sin debt. Because of His sacrifice, those who believe in Him have peace with God and those who believe in His name have been given the power to become children of God (John 1:12). But do you always feel like one of His children or are there times when you feel distanced from the Father: times when you wonder if He really cares? Are there times when you feel like He may have forgotten you? Are there times when you prayed a Psalm 88 prayer?

No, things are not going well

When I read Psalm 88, I see something that is very different from most of the other Psalms and very different from the advice often given by the church. This Psalm starts of like the others, with the writer crying out to God because things aren’t going very well. But in the other Psalms the writer eventually musters up a bunch of faith and ends by looking forward to the great things God will do. Whatever the need, even if it’s a need for vengeance upon those who have done wrong, the writers of the Psalms seem to always come back to some variation of “I trust in God.” But not Psalm 88.

Psalm 88 begins by asking God to listen, followed by a description of how the writer’s, “…soul is full of troubles.” The writer describes feeling, “Like the slain who lie in the grave,” and like one who God, “…remember(s) no more…” The Psalmist speaks of being in darkness and of how he feels like he is under God’s wrath. He talks about crying out to the Lord but feeling as if the Lord has cast off his soul. Psalm 88 paints a picture of personal suffering and then…? And then the Psalm comes to an end.

There is no, “God’s got this,” nor is there a declaration that the Psalmist will wait upon the Lord. Psalm 88 ends, leaving the reader wondering where the Psalmist’s faith is at this point. Does he make the seemingly quick recovery that we so often see in the Psalms and throughout the entire Bible? He may have but he doesn’t tell us here. Psalm 88 is an honest expression of how this writer felt at the time. Things were not good, and it seems as if he didn’t feel like ending on a high note.

So, what is a Psalm 88 prayer?

A Psalm 88 prayer is an honest prayer. It is a time of pouring out exactly what is on our hearts, even if we are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a prayer that is covered in tears, driven by a feeling that all is not well and by a feeling that God is not close by. The fact that this type of prayer is in the Bible and inspired by God (2 Timothy 3:16) gives permission for us to pray this kind of honest prayer, following the example set by the Psalmist during a time of suffering.

Do you pray these kinds of honest prayers? I know I have all to often tried to clean up my prayers, praying what I thought God (and/or my church brethren) wanted to hear. But doing so is telling God a lie, something I’m no longer comfortable with. I want to be honest with God, just like Psalm 88 is honest. How about you? Is your relationship with God one where you pray a Psalm 88 prayer when needed?

The Battle Between My Ears

The end of 2024 is fast approaching which means it is time to update my ten year plan. This also means setting goals for 2025: goals that will help me take a step or two forward along my chosen path. I don’t really make New Year’s resolutions, although I guess in a way some of my goals fit the bill. But whether I call them goals or resolutions, I face the same problem that I hear others talking about year after year as we all take on new challenges without giving in by Quitters Day, something I only recently learned was a thing. (In 2025 it occurs on January 10th.)

Setting goals is a relatively new thing for me. I think I made my first serious attempt at creating a ten year plan at the end of 2017. It sounds funny to admit that I never set any real goals for the first fifty years of my life but before then I simply did what others said was best for me. I suspect this was a direct result of growing up as a codependent, where my mom’s alcoholism too often derailed my attempts at achieving something in life. Codependency meant giving up trying to succeed back when I was a teen, becoming convinced that setting goals would only remind me that I was a failure. (I didn’t understand it back then but a lot of that came from the toxic language that was the norm in my home, especially on the days that the bottle was in control.) By letting others direct my path, I could blame them when I failed even though that really did not help me feel any better about the results.

By 2017 I was ready to set real goals but I was not ready to achieve those goals. All too often I lost the battle between my ears. This battle came in the form of an internal voice which generally focused on my fears and my own perceived limitations. As a Christian, I often encouraged others to believe that God would bless them and that they could do all things through Christ who strengthens them (Philippians 4:13). At the same time I often talked myself out of living with that kind of faith, allowing that voice to have too much control even as I recognized that it was an echo of my life before I became a Christian. As a result I fell short when it came to achieving my goals and in moving forward in life according to the will of God.

This internal, codependent, and negative voice talked me out of doing the things that I said I wanted to do, while talking me into wasting time with things that often derailed my progress. Fortunately I’ve learned to argue with this voice, talking myself into doing the things that I know will help me achieve my goals. I’ve found that for me the, “...all things in Christ…,” begins with being able to win the battle between my own ears. God has freed me from bondage to that voice and He has also empowered me to move forward where I once held myself back. Now I am free of the excuses and of blaming others and I am ready to follow God’s perfect will for my life.

With this change in my own thinking I am prepared to update my ten year plan and to set my goals for 2025. Up until now my track record has not been great but as I win my own internal battle I expect that the results in 2025 will be something to brag about by this time next year.

Diabetes: A Journey, Not A Battle

It’s been a while since I posted anything about having diabetes. As you can tell from the title of this post, I’ve changed my point of view. No longer do I see myself in a battle against something. Instead I see myself as on a journey and Diabetes is a traveling companion sent to teach me a few things along the way. No, that does not mean I’ve walked away from my goal which is to start seeing health numbers that look, “normal.” But now I’ve taken advice from another Christian who taught about how a much more serious illness was in fact working to disciple him in his walk as a Christian.

Before I mention where I am on my journey I want to mention that the American Diabetes Association released its, “Standards of Care in Diabetes - 2025,” which includes, “Consideration of continuous glucose monitor (CGM) use for adults with type 2 diabetes on glucose-lowering agents other than insulin.” This reminded me of my post, “Continuous Glucose Monitors Are Game Changers,” where I wrote about how, “...living with diabetes and not having a CGM was living with one hand tied behind my back.” I believe a CGM should become a part of the standard of care for most, if not all diabetics, so it was good to see the American Diabetes Association recommend this in their standards.

With the help of my CGM my last blood test was very good. My fasting glucose reading was a 98 with an A1c of 6.5. That’s still in the diabetic range but only by 0.1. My goal for my next check is to get my A1c below 6.3 which would be the equivalent of being in a prediabetic stage. In the meantime, my companion on this journey has helped teach me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I’ve also learned the importance of getting enough protein in my diet and how small changes in my daily habits can pay off with huge rewards.

I’m looking forward to 2025 and to a blood test where every measure is in the green. As I approach that goal, my journey and my learning continue with thanksgiving to God.