The Battle Between My Ears

The end of 2024 is fast approaching which means it is time to update my ten year plan. This also means setting goals for 2025: goals that will help me take a step or two forward along my chosen path. I don’t really make New Year’s resolutions, although I guess in a way some of my goals fit the bill. But whether I call them goals or resolutions, I face the same problem that I hear others talking about year after year as we all take on new challenges without giving in by Quitters Day, something I only recently learned was a thing. (In 2025 it occurs on January 10th.)

Setting goals is a relatively new thing for me. I think I made my first serious attempt at creating a ten year plan at the end of 2017. It sounds funny to admit that I never set any real goals for the first fifty years of my life but before then I simply did what others said was best for me. I suspect this was a direct result of growing up as a codependent, where my mom’s alcoholism too often derailed my attempts at achieving something in life. Codependency meant giving up trying to succeed back when I was a teen, becoming convinced that setting goals would only remind me that I was a failure. (I didn’t understand it back then but a lot of that came from the toxic language that was the norm in my home, especially on the days that the bottle was in control.) By letting others direct my path, I could blame them when I failed even though that really did not help me feel any better about the results.

By 2017 I was ready to set real goals but I was not ready to achieve those goals. All too often I lost the battle between my ears. This battle came in the form of an internal voice which generally focused on my fears and my own perceived limitations. As a Christian, I often encouraged others to believe that God would bless them and that they could do all things through Christ who strengthens them (Philippians 4:13). At the same time I often talked myself out of living with that kind of faith, allowing that voice to have too much control even as I recognized that it was an echo of my life before I became a Christian. As a result I fell short when it came to achieving my goals and in moving forward in life according to the will of God.

This internal, codependent, and negative voice talked me out of doing the things that I said I wanted to do, while talking me into wasting time with things that often derailed my progress. Fortunately I’ve learned to argue with this voice, talking myself into doing the things that I know will help me achieve my goals. I’ve found that for me the, “...all things in Christ…,” begins with being able to win the battle between my own ears. God has freed me from bondage to that voice and He has also empowered me to move forward where I once held myself back. Now I am free of the excuses and of blaming others and I am ready to follow God’s perfect will for my life.

With this change in my own thinking I am prepared to update my ten year plan and to set my goals for 2025. Up until now my track record has not been great but as I win my own internal battle I expect that the results in 2025 will be something to brag about by this time next year.