Pride or Termites: How Christians Respond to the Problem

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God is not a big fan of pride. In fact the Bible warns us that pride goes before destruction (Proverbs 16:18). God is not alone in feeling this way. In fact, I doubt there is anyone who really likes dealing with another person’s pride. But what if that person sits on the next pew? How can we help a prideful church goer see the error of their ways? Based on my experience the best way is to first recognize the insecurity that often comes before pride.

Insecurity is like a nest of termites chewing a hole in the foundation of a person's character. In response we try to build something to hide the hole, often an altar to ourselves known to others as pride. Unfortunately, Christians tend to have a knee jerk reaction to pride. We know what the Bible says and feel we must save people from themselves. When we see pride in other people we go and knock it down. In the process we all too often knock down the person, ignoring the termites underneath the altar.

While we are busy knocking down the altar and the person, those termites are busy chewing. Now the insecure and emotionally injured person has a bigger hole. A bigger hole means they need a bigger altar. In spite of the best efforts of Christians around the person pride becomes a bigger issue than ever before. Again we knock it down. The person falls along with the altar. The termites keep chewing and the cycle continues.

So how should a follower of Christ deal with a prideful brother?

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?"

Matthew 7:3

Before trying to help, a believer must first make sure their heart is in the right place. We must make sure our desire to “help” is not really an attempt to run from our own pride and insecurities. We should not look to put the other person in their place or to prove them wrong just so we feel better. This is not about winning a victory. It is about helping our brothers and sisters grow in Christ.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood..."

Ephesians 6:12

It does not matter how prideful or arrogant they are, people are not our enemies! Do not go after the person! All too often I've seen believers wage mental and/or emotional warfare on others. This does not help a brother grow nor does it draw non believers to Christ. Going after the person is as effective as punching them in the nose. If the real problem is insecurity your attacks only make matters worse.

Our response to pride begins with prayer. The battle is spiritual not physical and spiritual battles are fought on our knees in prayer. From there we see God, Who will deal with the real problem without being distracted by the pride stage show. Prayer prepares our hearts so that we can respond in the right way and for the right reasons, building up instead of tearing down. In prayer we prepare to deal with the termites instead of aiding in the destruction, helping to make the other person whole.

I believe God equips His children so that they can help others live free of pride and insecurity. How we respond to His equipping determines whether we help someone grow or tear them down. We are called to help each other in love without contributing to their destruction. Are you dealing with the termites or are you knocking other people down?