My Toughest Prayer

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By far they are my two most difficult prayers: the two where my faith faces its greatest test. These are not the usual bless this or bless that prayers I so often fall back on. They differ significantly from my usual, "Help me!" prayers that I really should say long before I reach the end of me. No, these prayers are different. These prayers are scary because they truly mean giving up control. The first is, "Father give me the day I need to grow in You." The second is even scarier: "Father give my family the day they need to grow in You."

What makes these prayers so tough? Well, they involve surrender, allowing God to move me out of my comfort zone. No longer can I stay on the smooth path, these prayers open the door to allowing God to put me on the path of His choosing. Sometimes He chooses a smooth path but often He chooses the difficult path. At times He chooses a path that's too steep for me to climb on my own. Always He chooses the path that is best for me. These prayers are my way of saying I accept His choice no matter how strong the urge to run in another direction.

These prayers are about surrendering my dreams for myself and my family. That's really difficult as so much of how I measure myself is based on my ability to achieve and to help my family achieve what I think is best. It's a tough pill to swallow to think that my plans fall short of the goals He has for us. I'd like to think I know best. It hurts my pride to think that I need to surrender my dreams because they fall short of His expectations.

You see, my path and holding on to my dreams are all about control. They are about doing things my way even if it's not in my best interest. Oh, I think my ideas are best but God sees the whole picture. From His viewpoint He sees where I am bound to come up short. He offers the path to real growth and real success. And yet I am unwilling to let go of my control, not even to gain the promise and hope of abundant life, and fulfillment of dreams. Even though I know God's goals for me are bigger than my dreams, turning over complete control of the navigation towards His goals scares me.

"God, give me the day I need to grow in you: to get to where you want me." That's a tough prayer to say and believe. For Christians, it's one of the most important things we can say. Are you willing to say this prayer? Perhaps you prefer Jesus' version, "...not my will, but Yours, be done." (Luke 22:42 NKJV) Are you willing to say it AND mean it?